Pépé

By: Andrea Roberts

Murder: Unlawful premeditated killing of a human being by a human being.

Dictionary.com

“My name is Pépé, don’t laugh because if you do I will kill you and stuff some woodchips up your nose and make you run in a plastic ball.  You can see me everyday sleeping or hiding in my own personal habitat. I still can’t walk very well since Emily threw me against the wall that one time, and I have a scar from the fucking cat that you thought would have fun chasing me. Since I have had so many brushes with death though, now I can truly appreciate my life and I realize that my little life is not going to be wasted running on wheels and sleeping. Your abusive reign over me shall end you vicious tyrant, and I shall fight against you oppressors, you beasts, you humans!”

Pépé the hamster had thought out a thorough plan to kill his masters and it would not be… shall we say… painless. The hardest part would be that he would have to kill them in such a way that none would notice the other’s corpse. Pépé needed tools and to observe the routine of the family. Pépé managed to, after many attempts, squeezed through two bars at the back of the cage. Pépé also had help from the mice in the house; they provided him with tunnels to travel to any part of the house.

Pépé lived in Emily’s room. She had begged her mom for a mouse when she 8 and on her 10th birthday received Pépé. She had constantly abused Pepe, a poor little hamster being forced into undersized Barbie dresses, put on a leash and worst of all the plastic ball. The ball was the size of a soccer ball. When Pépé went into the ball it meant being kicked around the house, and usually the fun of going down the stairs over and over and over again.  Emily is now 12 and when she comes home, her routine includes: coming home, throwing together a sandwich, dumping her backpack on the counter and then proceeding to the basement to watch television in the spare room, where she can have privacy.