Here we go, as you have seen from the last two articles I have written about. I was a volatile husband that could not control his moods. Now were going to get to the nitty gritty of what caused all of this to happen. 30 years in the making. I was born on June 16 1975 to a mother who on occasion stepped out on my father with a man she met on a work release program. Needless to say mother and father divorced while I was still an infant. This has no impact on me, but the life choices that my mother imprinted on me was that failure is acceptable because you cant get better then what you have. To prove this point from the age of 9 months old till about seven I was passed from one family member to another. Either I lived around an alcoholic grandfather who was a nice man. Or an uncle who one time hung me over a cliff by my feet threatening to let go. To a father who denied that I was even his until I was five years old. He too was an alcoholic, and my mother was a drug attic. Addictive and irrational behaviors that come from both sides of my family. Wow. I should be messed up. And I was.

            1. I allowed for everyone’s past actions and aggressions dictate my future actions and it wound up hurting the people I loved the most. For the longest time I hated my childhood and bore it as a burden that weighed on me everyday. Especially when I had a mother who admitted to nothing and thought my childhood was great. I blamed and blamed and victimized myself repeatedly with horrid thoughts and dreams of my childhood and abuse my siblings and I went through. I even think I filled in the blanks of things and times I didn’t remember which obviously means most likely they didn’t happen. We as people do that, or minds do that.

            SOLUTION: Anything that remains unresolved in a mans life will traumatize him to the point that he loses control of his emotions. I’m pretty sure the councilors have a name for this. I lost my mental stability and the capability to control my thoughts which ultimately hindered control of my actions. Is it the responsibility of your wife to understand this? NOPE. You fooled her into marrying a nice guy with no problems and then when they surfaced boy did you and I allow them to surface. Take responsibility for your actions whether they are wrong or right. Be the man she needs.