The first sign that something was awry was when Binoongus, while returning from the gorgonzola lizard droppings depot, saw his father entering the nearby woods with a large hessian bag. He rushed back to his mother and told her of what he saw. Bunoongus knew that Banoongus was up to something – he should not be in the woods on Thursday evenings as that was the night he went to the town hall with the other men-folk to watch gorgy lizard cage fights and to sleep with alien moganoids (a cat like but humanoid  creature covered in fine silky hair and equipped with four well formed mammary glands – moganoids fed on parasites that covered the alien overlords).

With suspicions raised, Bunoongus sent her daughter Bonoongus to follow her father Banoongus and monitor his activities. After several weeks it was discovered that Banoongus was very often disappearing into the woods and returning with hessian bags stuffed full of some unknown substance. He had on three occasions been called in front of his boss to explain the disappearance of certain bits of engineering equipment from the lab in which he worked. Binoongus reported that several times he awoke in the night and could hear his father working in the outside shed. This was enough for Bunoongus, but she had to be absolutely sure before she reported her beloved husband to the authorities.

One standard evening Bunoongus only pretended to go to sleep after making mad passionate love to her husband – as they did every night – and waited for him to sneak out of the bed. She followed him, silently, a spirit of the night. She watched Banoongus go into the shed and waited until she could hear activity inside. She crept up to the shed and peeked through the window and nearly recoiled in horror. Banoongus was hunched over and pumping at his tool with ferocious fervor. His knuckles were white from the force of his hold and he was pumping with tremendous force. He had a look of utmost moronity on his face as the excitement of his activity well outweighed his shame. Bunoongus had seen enough and burst through the shed door in a bloody fury.

Banoongus spun around with a look of surprise and fear on his face – for he knew he had been discovered and would soon be taking tongue dexterity lessons. As he turned around he knocked over his home made spinning wheel and sent spindles and wool flying across the floor. His wife was furious and moved to storm out of the shed, but Banoongus lunged at her and grabbed her arm. He pleaded with her to let him explain. With tears in her eyes and her heart broken she allowed him his plea. He explained to her that he had been fighting his urges for a very long time but he just knew from the bottom of his heart that all he wanted to do was spin and knit. He held no joy in making giant machines of violence. Although Bunoongus dearly loved Banoongus and could understand his pain, this was not a digression she could forgive or ignore – she was prepared to head into the depot immediately.

Bunoongus stormed out of the shed but in a last desperate act Banoongus dived at Bunoongus and grabbed her ankle. She began to scream and kick him in the head, but amongst the blows he managed to explain to her that this was no ordinary knitting. He was spinning moose nose hair into wool to knit alien toe warmers – as they fetched massive prices on the alien black market. At this learning Bunoongus stopped kicking Banoongus and stepped off his neck. This indeed explained his trips into the woods and his disgusting habit in the shed, and she knew all too well the price a moose nose hair garment could fetch. She could finally afford to get a bigger house than that ugly snotty bitch Cunoongus that lived down the street. She kneeled down and kissed Banoongus lovingly on his forehead and wiped the blood from his eyes. She slowly placed her lips next to his ear and whispered to him ever so sweetly “where do you keep the hessian bags?”