A discussion of aren’t I, ain’t I, amn’t I, and am I not?

Crack!

From my vantage point behind first base and about half way up in the stands, I saw the ball land just inside the right field foul line and I knew it was going to be a triple.  The crowd roared and we were all on our feet as our lead-off batter in the bottom of the first inning got things going with that line drive.  We sat back down as the second batter stepped up to the plate.

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“Dogs, get your dogs here!  Hot dogs!  Hot dogs!  Hot dogs!” a vendor yelled behind me in an unmistakable voice that I recognized instantly.

I turned around.  It was Aunt Ruth!

“Hot dogs,” she continued.  “Straight from the cow or pig or factory or whatever, get your fresh hot dogs.  Hot dogs!  Hot … why it’s my nauseating nephew!” she exclaimed in surprise.

“What are you doing here, dear old Aunt Ruth?” I inquired.

“Eighty-nine,” she said.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m eighty-nine.  I’m not old.”

“Hey Babe,” bellowed a man perhaps fifteen seats to my left.  “Can I have three dogs down here?”

“Oh hey Moe,” Aunt Ruth bellowed in return.  “Three dogs comin’ atcha.”  In rapid fire succession, she hurled three hot dogs — one at a time — with throws that would make Nolan Ryan proud.

“Did that man just call you ‘Babe’ or am I imagining things?” I asked, somewhat shocked.

“Oh, that’s my stadium name,” my aunt replied casually.

“Your stadium name?”

“Yes, my stadium name.  They call me ‘Babe Ruth.’”

“I see,” said I, though it hadn’t really sunk in fully that my aunt was a hot dog vendor at our local AA baseball park.

Image via Wikipedia

“Babe,” yelled a man perhaps twenty-five seats to my right.  “Two dogs.”

“Sure Mitch,” she yelled back.  “Two dogs, comin’ atcha.”  Again, she reared back and fired two perfect strikes to Mitch.

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Comments (12)
  • Papa Sparks on Mar 27, 2009

    I liked this a lot. You are such a good storyteller. And for someone who has been to ballgames at Wrigley Field as well as Peoria to watch minor league ball back in the 80s, I appreciated this story even more.

    Thanks so much for sharing.

    In a related sidebar, any tips for how to get more readership? I have been here for going on five months now I am lucky to get five comments per post. I know all about “fanning” and commenting on other people’s posts. I used to write at TIBU before that site closed and I was doing everything right. Triond and AC are some tough nuts to crack as it were. You’ve read my stuff. You know that I am a good writer; heck I used to write for a newspaper in Korea for six years.

    You seem to be doing quite well with your posts. You are a good writer and I enjoy your essays here a lot.

  • barbie67013 on Mar 27, 2009

    This is soo cool and makes perfect sense. It’s funny. If my english teacher taught like this I may have learned something. lol
    I liked it. I try to use proper english when I need to but have to admit that as a country girl, I say ain’t alot. It is funny though that I don’t say it in public. Very good point. Way cool!

  • Nosa on Mar 27, 2009

    lovely piece of work,I find it really interesting and funny.

  • Betty Carew on Mar 27, 2009

    Good for aunt Ruth selling hot dogs I was expecting she would hit you with one lol Great lesson Nutuba and very good read. Very funny as usual lol

  • fishfry aka Elizabeth Figueroa on Mar 27, 2009

    Great writing, I love your style of writing, it is captivating

  • Alina Beck on Mar 27, 2009

    I can’t tell you how much I want a hot dog right now! I had never really thought about the difficulties of “aren’t I” before, but now you mention it, it is odd. We don’t really use “ain’t I” where I come from, but we are overrun with the dreaded “innit”!

  • Andrew Davies on Mar 27, 2009

    Woot! Woot!

  • Annie Hintsala on Mar 27, 2009

    Man, I hope there really is an Aunt Ruth out there. All of these are priceless.

  • Joe Dorish on Mar 27, 2009

    I’ll take two dogs, please.

  • Aleksandar Radojicic on Mar 28, 2009

    This is a great article.Very good storytelling.Had quite a lot of funny moments.Near professional comedy.Keep the articles coming.

  • kate smedley on Mar 29, 2009

    Yet another great story, I hope there’s an Aunt Ruth too!

  • CutestPrincess on Mar 30, 2009

    great story from the best story teller!

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