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I grew up in a household that was unbalance and unhealthy.  As a teenager I remember thinking my children will have a better life than I had.  I married at eighteen to leave home and find something better.  Instead I went from the fire into the frying pan.  I look back now and see how confused I was.  My life was not that bad I was just really confused. 

I married an abusive drug addict to run away from home.  I had no streets smarts.  Life quickly changed.  I enter the realm of illegal drugs and a violent lifestyle.  I was raised in church and a clean lifestyle and went to a total different one.   The anger and pain I held inside kept pushing me deeper into the dark world of sin and violence. 

Before I married my first husband I was dating an older man that was going to my Dad’s church.  I found out later he really liked me.  He was a good man. I ran into him the other day for the first time in twenty years.  I looked into his eyes as I was talking to him and thought to myself my life could have been totally different but I choose the path of sin and heartbreak.  My heart sank as I thought about it.  Every decision we make is important.

Every decision is like a cross road there are many paths we can take.  Some paths are no bid deal and others will spin our life off into a total different direction. 

At this point in my life I was making a lot of wrong decisions.  As I look back in my life I can see each one of them.  That is one thing about life you keep traveling one direction or another if you quit moving you die.

After I got married I had three boys in the next six years.  I started growing up when I got pregnant with my first son.  I wanted better for my children than I had but I could not make it happen.  I was still confused and depressed.