Each stepping stone in life shifted as I placed my feet on them. Even as I walk up the steps to my house, I could swear I feel the ground opening up to take me in. Now, this is known as today. The past has provoked my luck and my charm to wrath and everything in it has demolished me to what I am known as today’s person. The young days they say are the best days, but to me, they hold the most difficult times I could ever face.

To fight your way thru life was battling all hell. To see your parents fight and throw things down was not something a three year old toddler could handle. In 1992, my parents divorced and destroyed what I was eager to see – a happy family. I spent most of my Kindergarten thru Primary School days crying because of the severe tormenting from other students. I can even recall having one of those bad days not making it to the bathroom on time because of a teacher. After what she had done, she showed no remorse. She had me in front of a class full of older children running around without pants and underwear. Remembering this today, I felt it was totally wrong and I grieve from this situation very much. Also as a Kindergartener, there was one girl who just detested the sight of me. Whenever she saw me, she’d run away. Thru my years of Primary School, I recall two girls who bothered me every day of my being in second grade because just like in Kindergarten, they did not like me.

As I approached Junior High School, I noticed some changes in my behavior. I became a bit disobedient; not listening to my family and being quite stubborn. I remembered my grandmother telling me “Solange, you should not follow those people”. My grandmother had the eyes of a hawk and a brain of an Einstein. Later in my life, the crowd I hung out with, hung me up – head over heels. The world is dominated by evil. I can recall my own best friend out of the group come up to me and start yelling at me, instigating that I spoke about her behind her back. I denied this story, knowing it wasn’t true, but looking back now, I had a feeling who told her this lie. Unfortunately, the argument broke out into a fight and before you know it she was gone somewhere else in the world. Another time I got blamed again for spreading rumors behind one’s back and I got severely beaten for that not once but twice by the same person. Thinking back now, I still think it was someone I knew quite well who set me up.

During high school, It became worse. My grades began to drop and I flunked almost every test there was. I began to drink alcohol; one beer per week. During the summer of 2002, I was hospitalized for trying to commit suicide. I spent three months in the hospital and suffered visual and auditory hallucinations. After my hospitalization, I was referred to a special education program where I continued my courses and graduated.

During my ailing times in life, I always ran to my father. He was my angel above the sunrise. He seemed to make everything good happen. We shared something so dear and that was our “friendship”. He gave me the need to succeed in every way. He was a wonderful person and always stood by my side. I love him very much and even though he may see me unhappy, I want him to rest in peace.

R.I.P Daddy

October 3^rd, 1930 – March 29^th, 2004

I Love You