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Quinn is a very delightful six year old boy.  He has many qualities that make me love him so much, but there are other times Quinn is unreachable to friends and family.  Quinn is autistic.  His grandfather and I first began to suspect that something wasn’t quite right with Quinn when he was about two years old.  My daughter just felt that he was slow, but she agreed to have him tested.  The doctors tested him, but the results were inconclusive.  They wanted to retest him when he was four years old. 

   Quinn was doing most things that other kids his age were doing, but he was not talking.  He didn’t seem to understand that he could hurt himself when he was in a dangerous situation, like trying to run across the road or climbing onto the counter.  He would break free of my daughters hand in a parking lot and start running around.  They live in Arizona, and he wanted to jump off the mountain.  My daughter was ready to get a leash.  She never did, but he sure gave her some scares. 

   One time when he climbed onto the counter top, Quinn got into his mother’s spice rack.  He threw all of the spices onto the floor breaking each jar.  He wanted to see what the spices would look like all mixed together.  Some he picked up and threw out into the back yard, oblivious to the fact that he could have cut himself.  My daughter had been in the basement doing her laundry.  From that time on, whatever room she was in, Quinn was in.  She realized that she could not let him out of her sight, not even for a second.

   On a visit to Michigan just after Quinn turned four, we had all decided to take a trip to the beach.  Quinn was in the water with a life jacket on, but he had drifted out way over his head and I was concerned.  He was talking by now, and his favorite sentence was, “I don’t care”.  That was his response to everything that was said to him.  I swam out to where Quinn was and tried to explain to him in a way that he could understand that he need to come back closer to shore.  I wanted his feet to be able to touch the ground.  Of course he said, “I don’t care.”  I proceded to bring him back with me, and the words that came out of his mouth really took me by surprise.  He said, “You’ll pay for this old woman!”  I can laugh at that statement now, but at that time, I thought, “Wow, where did that come from?”

   He kicked and screamed and hollored, but I brought him back with me, trying to calm him down with each movement, each word.  Dealing with autistic children takes a lot of patience.  There needs to be much understanding and love.  They can be very loving children at times, and those times are the times that you have to treasure, hold close to your heart and cling to.

   One day, I decided to take Quinn to the park in Grand Ledge.  This is a park that I spent many times at, as a kid growing up.  All of our family reunions were held there.  There is a path down by the river called the Ledges.  Quinn and I were walking down there and I started telling him about the times I had been there as a little girl.

   “I used to be afraid that I would fall into the water when I was little,” I told Quinn.

   “I would save you,” Quinn replied.

   “I am an adult now, Quinn and I think that I would be the one saving you,” I said.

   “No Grandma,” Quinn stated.  “The little girl, when you were a little girl, I would save the little girl.”

   Tears came into my eyes.  “How precious,” I thought.  How precious that he would even think that.  This was a moment that I had reached through his little world and caught a small glimpse of who Quinn really is and could be.

   When my daughter and grandchildren went back to Arizona, Quinn was retested.  My daughter and son-in-law were told that Quinn has Autism Spectrum Disorder, which is a form of Autism.  So what we had suspected all along was finally confirmed. 

   Quinn is now six.  He is better sometimes.  There are times that you would never even know that he has autism, but there are other times, one can tell that he is definetely different.  He has little sayings that he likes to repeat over and over.  He doesn’t want anyone to copy him or sing slong.  They are his special songs and only he can say/sing them.  There are times when he is in his happy place and he doesn’t want anyone to disturb him.  If they do, he gets quite angry.  Sometimes to the point of throwing a screaming fit.  His ears are also very sensitive.  Sometimes he thinks people are talking too loud or there is a noise that bothers him.  My daughter had to buy him some ear muffs so that sounds would not be too loud for his ears to handle.

   Quinn calls me on the phone sometimes.  He will talk about his day.  I have to listen and try to understand what he is talking about or he will get upset.  As long as the conversation is lead by him and I talk about what he wants to talk about, our time on the phone is very enjoyable.  He even says, “I love you Grandma.”  That is priceless.

   For all the times that he doesn’t want to be held, for all the times that he seems out of control, there are those few moments when he does want a hug, that he appears normal and he will say, ” I love you.” Those are the times that mean so much to all of us.  Quinn is a very special boy and I try to stay intuned to his world.  I am grateful that he is in my life and I am also glad that he is a special needs child.  I have always had compassion for special needs children, but Quinn has opened my eyes even more brightly.  My life has been enriched more greatly because Quinn is here.