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I think everyone has in them the desire to create. Sometimes, I get in these moods that I was a great ballet dancer. Then I could dance my thoughts and my feelings and just express what I feel. I’m an individual. I’m unique. No one else is like me. I just hope there is someone in this world who can understand me. I wish I could find somebody that I could tell my hopes and dreams, without having them laugh or say it can’t be done – someone to believe in me.

I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was eight or nine. I want to create. I want to inspire. I feel I have it in me to do this, but it’s hidden. I’m searching and hoping and praying.

Sometimes, it’s so very hard to be good. I want to be loving, unselfish, and helpful. I need to be patient. I think someone can’t be born and right away come out good. It’s an art. Goodness is something to be constantly worked on.

I’m a dreamer. I use my imagination constantly. Sometimes it’s evil. Most of the time, it’s good. I don’t mean really evil, but not just the most proper things to do. I don’t know if it’s wrong, and I’m trying to stop. It’s sort of a habit. What gets me to sleep at night. I just think about things until I finally fall asleep.

One of the worst forms of evil is fear. Fear keeps me from most forms of my enjoyment. I love to walk in the woods. I can really think things out. I feel closer to God. For I see the trees, the flowers, and squirrels – and all these things and more are His creations. I’d like to be able to sing, to yell, to dance, to pray, but fear keeps me on my guard. I’m scared someone’s going to jump out at me or is just watching me. I guess self-consciousness comes into the picture too. I want to be able to do things without having to worry about embarrassment or self-consciousness.

Sometimes I feel that I can understand so much; but I’m afraid to speak out. There’s this quotation, something about hiding one’s fears behind laughter. So many people pretend to not care, to hide their uneasiness. I care, and I want to be able to show it. Everybody’s scared that somebody else is going to laugh at them. Sometimes, to prevent this, they put down somebody else. It becomes easier every time. That little voice, everybody calls their conscience, becomes softer and softer, until one grows to be able to ignore it. I’m striving to let that voice become strong. I feel it is the voice of God.