It’s that time of the month again, and I’m feeling rather primitive today. Today is a day when I’m glad to be 47. I didn’t feel like putting on makeup, so I didn’t. Instead, I put on wool and denim, and striped pirate socks with Maryjane shoes. With a long, bright pink scarf. Today is a day for reflection, and these are my thoughts:

Now that I’m nearing 50, I’ve found that my priorities have changed. That which concerned me at 27 isn’t even a blip on the radar at 47. Nope, now, instead of worrying about my sexiness factor, I worry about being comfortable. I like to be fit, but I don’t care anymore if I look like a model. Pass the cheesecake, please. My blood G’s are good…

I don’t worry about cool anymore, either. Once I got that first grey hair, cool seemed kinda irrelevant, really. I’ve always thought it sad to see someone my age trying to compete with the pretty young things. Why bother? I say go for the company of those that understand; people I can relate with. I like to go and have fun, but without the drama. People that have seen some of the same things and had some of the same kinds of life experiences that I have.

No, now that the change is rearing it’s head, now what I want is a good steak, rare, please. What I want is my fellow human being to stop irritating me, and I what I really want is to quit crying over cat food commercials.Thus far, the tears and the hot flashes that I’ve been getting are my only complaints about the impending change in my fertility. No complaints about the steak. I could cook that steak with some of those hot flashes!

I do like the feeling I have now of empowerment. If I have something to say, I say it! The change that is happening is bringing out a woman that I very much like and that my family doesn’t totally recognize. But I like her, and they are learning about me as a person, beyond “Mom”. That’s good for all of us. 

Now I’m not worried about the sex thing, sex being pretty easy to get when it’s not a top priority, life is a much more fun place to be. I have a husband, and a very active sex life, but the drama that used to go with it isn’t there anymore. I don’t miss it. When it comes to the sex life, that has also undergone a change for the better in my opinion. I have no trouble making sure he knows what I like, and I have no trouble asking him what he likes. I enjoy it far more now than I did in my 20’s.

I like this emerging me. I like the confidence that seems to grow with each new white hair, I like the sense of independence that I feel. You know, middle age isn’t a bad place to be. I’ve enjoyed every year of life, and these years, my 40’s, have been the best so far. The lowered insurance rates are just the proverbial cherry on the cake. I like being sure of what I want and I like having the experience and the drive to go and get it.

Look out world! here I come!