Coping with Heartbreak.
Check out these words,
He broke my heart after sleeping with me and taking all the money I have from me.
She broke my heart after all I did for her and now I am left alone
She stumbled into me when I was kissing my friend and she left me thinking I love her no more
My mother broke my heart when she abandoned
My father broke my heart when he said he will no longer take care of me
My wife broke my heart when she died.
It will take me decades to list all the heartbreak sayings by people who have been hurt in the heart with a sharp edged spear and the funny thing about it is that most of the time it comes up when you do not even expect it. I am a living witness of a heart break and the reason why I can write this article is because I have been through it before.
I will start by telling my story which is a real life experience. I know that there are people who have passed through similar experience or even worse. Lots of interesting points on handling heartbreaks comes after this story. So read on.
During my University years, I stumbled into a pretty lady who cut my attention and I really liked her. She liked me too and expressed it in her gesture. When I met her I was already in my 4th year in the university but she thought that I have graduated. On one of the occasions, she stumbled into me in a bus and asked me what I was doing around the school because she thought that I would’ve gone for my youth service. Now in my country, we run a one year National Youth Service Program which is a paramilitary program where graduates are trained on military issues and how they can serve their country properly. So that was the program she thought I had gone for as a graduate without knowing that I have not graduated. After the question, I explained to her that I have not yet graduated. We kept on talking but I noticed that while we were talking, she was nervous and was the one making most of the speeches. I did not know when we passed were I was going to stop but as soon as I realized it I had to inform the driver to stop. I immediately pretended as if the driver stopped me where I was supposed to stop and I pointed at a house and told her that was where I was going to. Now we said bye to each other but for sure I knew I’ve caused myself a great stress because I will have to trek up to my house and it was quite far form where the driver stopped me. When I got home, I discovered that I am seriously falling in love with this girl because I taught of her throughout the night and could not help calling her in the morning as soon as I woke up. Of course we have previously exchanged our phone numbers. During the day, I went to her department in school and asked her out. She agreed and we went out on a date. During the date, I asked her several questions about herself and she gave me some of the answers and ignored some but I never officially told her that I will like her to be my girl friend. On one of the occasions, I sent a text message to her calling her my love. She replied telling me that I seem to be too possessive and that I did not officially tell her that I will want her to be my girl. I replied and told her I meant what I said but I am sorry if it was rather too straight. I took her out again and officially told her that I will want her to be my girl so as to correct my mistake. She told me that I’m too fast with her and that we will have to be friends first of all before we become lovers. I told her that we are already friends and that what was remaining was for her to agree to my proposal. When I got home, I was glad that I made the proposal because I’ve been shy to make the proposal and that was the reason why I did not tell her about it initially. The next time we saw, she asked me if I’ve ever had a girl friend before. I sensed that the reason why she asked the question was because of how I was treating her as if I was a virgin who have never been into an affair. I said yes which was right. I invited her to my house where I was living alone and she came. We talked about issues but we never made love. I was not so romantic at that time and I believed that it is not right to sleep with her the very first time she came to my house. One day while we were talking, I demanded for a kiss from her but she said no. She told me that she is a virgin and will not like to kiss anyone till she gets married to her husband. I told her that I just need a kiss and not a bang but she refused. One of the days, she came to my house and I gave her a hug at the door and wanted to kiss her but she refused. I felt she was taking me for a fool. I felt real bad. I buy her gifts from time to time. In fact I had to make a custom cake for her during one of her birthdays. I lost my phone in the bid to get her cake across to her. I delivered the cake to her late and this made her angry. In fact when I came to give her the cake, I realized that she was not around. I saw her friend who told me that she angrily went out due to the fact that I came late. I called her the next day but she dropped my call and will not let me speak to her. I had to tell her friend to let her know that I lost my phone in the bid to get her the cake that was the reason why I came so late. She later understood and apologized. After sometime, she came to my house and I demanded that she will have to spend the weekend with me but she refused. I tried to apply romance so that at least I can sleep with her and have fun with the woman that I love but she wouldn’t let me. I never slacked in the extent of care and affection that I showed her but in all my sacrifice I can not count how many times she gave me something or even made me feel loved. The great percentage of sacrifice in the relationship was from me. I displeased myself many times to please her even during her sick period. I bought drugs for her and took care of her when she was sick. I did a lot to show her my love for her but she will never love me back like I love her. Sometimes, I will have to starve as a student so that I can save some money to buy her stuffs and take her out. I started suspecting her to be a lesbian though I never saw her kiss or sleep with any girl but I have seen her with a lot of girls that are known to be lesbians. I did not want to think she was one so I just assumed she wasn’t one. One day as I explained my predicament to my friend concerning the girl that I have loved for months who will not reciprocate my love for her at all, he told me that I will have to stop the relationship because she does not love me. I got annoyed with him and told him that I will find it difficult to leave her because I love her so much. I was dazzled when she cooked for me the next time I came to her house. In fact that was the first time she ever did a thing like that. I felt like a man who won a gold prize that evening and could not avoid expressing my joy when I met my friends. After two days have passed, I called her and told her that I want to come over to her house and see her so we could talk about some issues but she surprisingly told me that she was expecting someone so I will have to come and see her the next day. I suspected that she was about to go on a date and due to anger for love, I went to her house without her notice so that I will prove myself right or wrong. I was right because I saw her sitting on the laps of a guy. I could not avoid expressing my pain, so I called her out and asked her who the guy was. She told me that it was none of my business. I asked her why she was treating me like that after all I did for her. She asked me “What did you do for me?”, and expressed I never did much for her. She told me nothing ever existed between us so why am I behaving that way. I was amazed to hear that from her. I told her that if she does not want to appreciate my love for her, there are lots of people who will do so. I angrily told her I will not have anything to do with her from that moment. She lackadaisically answered okay. I got home that day and cried bitterly. It was so hard for me to bear. It was embarrassing and heartbreaking. I called my friend and told him about it and he laughed and told me love does not exist and advised me to have a platonic relationship with ladies and never love them because if I do, they will disappoint me. The week was rough for me and I started having low self esteem. I was always moody and never accepted happiness even when my friends wanted to make me happy. I told myself that this girl was only using me as a substitute friend incase she will need me to do something for her in the future. I felt like I was used and dumped. She flashed my phone occasionally expecting me to call her but I did not call her. She never called me to apologize for what she did so I kept quiet. After some weeks, I called her when I could no longer bear staying without talking to her. When I called her, she behaved as if nothing happened and asked me how I was. I told her she was not fair by the way she treated me. I decided to forgive her even if she didn’t apologize. As we went on in the relationship, I discovered that I didn’t trust her anymore. I started seeing her as a flirt who will not let me touch her or kiss her or even have goodtime with her because she took me for a fool due to how I was spending on her and treating her. I met one of my friends and told him how I felt. He told me that the relationship was almost over and I will have to quit her first before she quits me so that it will not seem as if she dumped me. I taught about it but decided to watch and see how the future will turn out. One day, she called me from school when I was at home and asked me to help her collect some of her items from her brother. I did that but I decided to test her to see if she has any hidden affection for me which she will not want to display due to egocentric pride. I told a lie by telling her that thieves stopped the vehicle that I was coming back to school with and they stole my money. The first question she asked me then was about her stuff. She never cared to ask me if I was shot or wounded or safe. She was just after her stuff. I felt very bad and decided I will not deliver her things to her since some of those things were stuffs I bought for her. After sometime, she started disturbing me. She went as far as calling some people to intimidate me so that I will get the stuffs. Finally, due to the way she went about it, I destroyed those things and wrote a note to her telling her that I just tried her but she failed my test and that I still have the right to take back what I gave to her. We parted ways but along the line I decided to imbibe the principle of maturity and forgiveness, I bought those things and sent them to her with an apology letter. I equally explained to her how much I loved her and the plans I had for her but it seems like we were not meant for each other. I promised never to disturb her life again and also wished her well with whoever she will end up with. It was painful but I had to let her go. I still miss her but not too much. I’ve decided to move on with my life and also learn from my mistakes which I made severally.
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