I have had a lot of cats in my life. Most of them had some annoying habits, like scratching the furniture. But this cat is just evil!
Photo by author’s daughter
I love cats. As a kid living on a farm, we always had barn cats. There were always strays coming and going. A few of them were tame enough to sit on my shoulder while I was working in the barn. I always had scratches on my arms, and some of the cats used the cow’s feed as a litter box, but other than that they were pretty well behaved.
Ever since hubby brought home a cute little kitten the first year we were married, we’ve always had cats in the house. We’ve been blessed with lots of kittens. If there was a market for kittens, we would have been rich.
Kittens are a bit of work. You have to clean up some puddles until they learn to use the litter box, but this is quite instinctive for them and they learn quickly. They also tear around the house a lot, and knock things over. We let them get away with that, because kittens are cute. At Christmas time, our decorating theme is non-breakable. All of our breakable ornaments got broken with the first few cats.
Normally, kittens settle down when they are about a year old, and then all of the cats we have had became fat, lazy housecats who love to snuggle, and that is a good thing.
The cat we have now is two years old, and she is still tearing around our house. She has scratched most of the black paint off of our stair railing. She scratches the furniture. She only cuddles when she is very sleepy. She is very much like a two year old child. With sharp claws.
The girls named her Arwen, but she is nothing like her gentle elf-princess namesake. I usually just call her CAT!!! She knows very well that she is not allowed on the table. I started training her by squirting her with a water bottle. It worked for all of our other cats. Not this one. Especially when I am the only one at the table. She just sits down and scrunches her face while she is being squirted, and then she licks herself. Sometimes she will lick her butt on the table. She knows that I hate that.
I tried adding lemon juice to the water in the spray bottle. She just scrunches her face more. Same thing with vinegar. As soon as I get off my chair, she jumps off the table and runs away. She knows that I have Parkinson’s and I am slow. As soon as I sit back down, she is back on the table. I have tried grabbing her off the table. I have managed to catch her a few times and either throw her outside or lock her in the laundry room. She hates that. It keeps her off the table for a little while, but then she always comes back.
She is also the most destructive cat we have ever had. Her favourite game is knocking things off shelves. Especially breakable things. I think she likes the satisfying crash that she hears when things hit the floor. She also does this to get attention in the morning when she wants to be fed. She will sit on my nightstand or dresser, look at me, and start knocking things down until I get up and feed her. We have a tall lamp in the living room with three glass shelves. I had a pretty little porcelain vase on the top shelf. Silly me! She knocked it onto the floor. It made a lovely crashing sound on the laminate flooring. I put a little wooden vase on the top shelf. She knocked it down, and on the way down it hit the bottom glass shelf and shattered it.
She also steals socks. Really. My socks are in the top drawer of the bureau. She opens the third drawer with her paws and then jumps into that drawer. From there, she can open the top drawer. She will grab a pair of socks in her mouth and run off to hide them. She never performs this trick if a camera is rolling.
Hubby and I are both softies when it comes to cats. She is just lucky that she is so darn cute.
Great write! Yeah, I’ve got to stick with dogs (I’ve never met an evil one of those! 
Enjoyable read!
Karen
I love kitties among other “critters” – fortunately or unfortunately I am allergic to most felines. So we don’t have one we own, but are owned by one in the neighborhood, named Cassie. She is a vagabond and now very pregnant (small wonder huh, considering her “wayward” ways! My sister had a cat named Garth, which I learned to hate. He would take all the attention you would give him like a true gentleman, then when you put him down he would climb up your leg and start clawing and biting at you….what a freak-o cat! But dogs can be freak-o too – I had a dog, named Lucky who was not very Lucky…talk about biting the hand that fed him…oh yeah. 25 stitiches later and nerve damage to my right hand. Thank the Good Lord, He provides more gentle kitties and puppies for us to love and enjoy.
lol, not evil, just kitty challenged !
Thanks,
Clay
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