Driving up to the drive-thru window at her local pharmacy, she was utterly excited.   She was getting another prescription for Vicodin.  She smiled to herself knowing that sweet relief would soon be hers.  She loved it and how it made her feel.  She then rolled down the window, said her last name, and heard these dreaded words “the doctor has denied your prescription, you need to call them for more information”.  She was pissed.  They had no other answer so she drove away and parked at the curb along the side street.  She was shaking and upset.  She only had nine left. She popped two and drove home knowing that she was either busted or would be cut off for good. She was very scared and started to sweat.  How could she go on with no pills to take?  What would she do?  She had used up all her doctors and was afraid to try a new one.  She decided at that moment she had to quit. 

Seven years of back pain and really no answers.  Prescribe her vicodin they said.  She took them once in awhile but as the years passed she took a few more.  Then it became a daily event.  She was under a doctors care and they prescribed her four pills a day.  Girl took that and more and more.  Eight a day was her norm.  Girl drank lots of wine after work while taking pills.  She felt great.

She decided to tell her husband because she went cold turkey and was feeling like shit – nausea, vomiting, jimmy legs, diarrhea.  He came home and said “what is wrong?”.  She started to cry and confessed.  He sat down, dumbfounded, but didn’t judge her because he loved her.  He said we would get through it but no more pills.  She felt so ashamed and felt like she disappointed the only man that really loved her.  He took her in his arms and held her while she cried.

The days and nights were long, but she eventually came through the withdrawl.  She heard something on the television that rang true for what she just went through – “sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself again”.

They did.