Image from author’s personal collection

But, like God, my parents still loved me. I’m not too sure if what you see in the above picture was not a way to try to snap me out of my tunnel of regret. The picture was taken about a month or two after my arrest. Mom asked me to come outside and pose with her and the neighbor girl while Dad snapped the picture. I did not want to, but Mom insisted. When I see that picture, I am reminded of the mental anguish I went through and was going through when the picture was taken, which now reminds me to be merciful to others that have sinned. It’s not very pleasant when sin springs its trap. It can really hurt. However, if you can, I would like for you to see that many times, if not all times, God is there with His care and tender mercy.

I’m sure word got back to my sister Pat and her husband, George. A few months later Mom said George and Pat wanted to take me to see a new movie. I did not want to go. I hated myself and what I did. I felt as if I were trash. However, again Mom insisted.

The movie was Mary Poppins and I might have seen previews of it on TV. If I did, it just bothered me.

Well, I had no choice so George and Pat brought me to see Mary Poppins, but I sat there covering my face with my hands. Satan was right there saying to me, “Everyone in this theater knows who you are, what you did, and why you are here.”

I did peek at the movie at one point and, when I did, the young boy I saw on screen reminded me of one of my friends that turned me in. When I heard the song, A Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down, all I could picture in my mind was Officer McNeil kind of dancing along with it and showing me his badge.

Deep Appreciation

For years I refused to watch that movie. However, now that we have been blessed with grandchildren I had opportunity to see it a few years ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. Not one bad memory was present. It is a pretty good story and you can tell those actors, including the added dancers, worked hard to make it a success.

No, not one bad memory was present, but I did feel appreciation toward George and Pat for trying to help me.

And, in this article, I’ve also referred to my two friends as just that–friends. Not once did I call them snitches or any other name. I still consider them my friends, for they did the right thing, as did Officer McNeil whose first name I cannot currently remember. Whether they were true Christians or not, my friends and the detective, who I would also consider a friend, did as God wanted them to do. I hope they are still physically alive and read this article, for I wish to express my sincere thanks to them.

Not only did they stop me before things got worse and I influenced others, but the whole incident set in motion steps toward my future commitment to Christ when I was a senior in high school.

Indeed, though the day of my arrest was an extremely dark day from a human standpoint, being washed with the blood of Christ I now see it as God mercifully intervening in my life through providence. If we permit Him, God can take our worse blunders and eventually use them for His honor and glory. God is rich in forgiveness and grace.

My parents well observed my self-punishment, mental anguish, regret and shame. They eventually bought for me a multi-band radio that included shortwave frequencies–something that God would later use to bring me to Him.

Because that story will contain content already published on the Internet, it will have to appear on a site that is not owned by Triond, though I would strongly prefer to use Triond. Please check the Peace in Providence index for the location of that story.

My first arrest was a traumatic incident for me that brought great gloom and darkness into my life. However, something worse would soon happen to me. Please check the Peace in Providence index for My Road to Satanism, or similar title.

How About You?

Do you feel like a failure? Or have you done something terribly wrong? Please hear now the Word of God:

Isaiah 1:18–”Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

This is possible because the Christ took your sin upon Himself and bore your punishment while on the cross. Trust and embrace Him now by fully committing your life to Him. In other words, surrender to Him.

All sins, from little lies to murder, and all that I did not mention, can be forgiven by God in Christ if only you would fully trust Him, confess your sins to Him, and earnestly ask Christ to live within and through you.

It was sort of painful to write this article, not because I still feel guilty (which I don’t because God has forgiven me), but because I can sense the pain of those who are truly sorry for what they have done. I can sense the mental anguish and confusion that some face when they have done something terribly shameful. I know what it is to have your mind brought to the point of suicide.

Please trust Christ now.