I’ve talked about my depressions and manic episodes, but I haven’t really explained what bipolar disorder is. Most doctors explain it as a chemical imbalance in the brain. I think of it like a hormonal imbalance, where your body lashes out at you in sweating, panic attacks, and anxiety bouts. Highs, lows, not much in between except a void. I am not fortunate. I have had a mid- life crisis, a brain tumor, a concussion, a child addicted to drugs, three grandchildren with possible mental challenges to come, and other family issues which are hard to take care of as well as my bipolar issues. I realize that I’m not the only one with multiple issues while being mentally challenged. I have needed counseling, and I continue to get counseling, sometimes changing every couple of years just to get a different perspective from the doctor. I do everything I can to keep abreast of the times. I like to think of myself as self-medicating, but really, that’s not good for many people. I have gone to the local NAMI support groups and learned that self-medicating is misleading and only makes more problems in the end. The thing is, you have to put your faith in the mental health professionals, people who have studied this disorder and who have interviewed people that have had it.

In the past, I attended a weekly therapy group led by my counselor, Double G. He led group discussions for me and kept my group focused because we always got off on another subject when we began to share our previous week. We had a book that we read out of and mood charts to keep us alert of our ups and downs. I had been in therapy for a year with him when I dropped out and went somewhere else. He helped me get my social security disability. He ended up retiring anyway.

Dr. GG encouraged me to be in therapy for the rest of my life. So I am.

I call my counselors Life Coaches. That’s what they are, and they monitor me and coach me. This is through talking and listening to each other. I want them to, as I am proud for recovering my life. It is 2008, and I am feeling great despite all the turmoil around me. Yes there’s a war, yes there is financial dilemma, a recession, new president coming along, so what? Take things one day at a time. Reorganize. Get things straight. Investigate, weigh things out. Talk it over with others. Don’t feel left out. Get in there and dig for the truth. I do them all.