Well summer 2008 I had a lot going on in my life at once,and  I had a mental break down which I experienced temporary psychosis, I thought I had  drowned in the tub and that I woke up in a mirror dimension of the reality I came from, I was digging in the dirt chanting a mantra “good dog, good dog” and then dumping the dirt on myself (I was digging with my hands) later that day I went to the beach and it had a large dock and I thought an arch (big biblical boat) was going to show up for what reason I have no idea started burying my stuff in the sand and stripping naked i got down to my boxers and put my glasses in the sand and said, “to sea to see” a few times then I got in trouble and was taken home, on the couch I was made to try to sleep, which didn’t work out so well I thought the house was flying around the world on a dragon, then I thought I was a dragon and I felt like i had more fingers on my hand then I really had…needless to say at the time I needed help so skip forward I ended up in South Bend Madison Center it’s a mental hospital for everyone under 18 the first 3 days I don’t even remember, I was told I was throwing food trays and making it hard for people to get along with me, the people were acting very odd, I was in the quiet room a lot( kinda like a jail cell).  In the ‘hospital’ they gave me Trazodone (a sleeping medicine/anti-depressant) and Geodon(A-psychotic).  

They fed me these pills and I don’t remember being given a choice…I was released from the ‘hospital’ exactly a week later, the first thing I did was go shopping with my mother at wal-mart and that was a bad idea talk about over stimulation, all the noises, it was ridiculous.  The next week I was feeling over tired zombie-like and my weird thoughts continued, very bazaar and outlandish things like thinking I’m jumping between mirror dimensions (didn’t help when people where saying that it is possible to do such things), also I would feel over stimulated for no apparent reason, at times I was unable to move parts of my body, and my appetite was very low, which is odd for me because I use to each more then anyone at the dinner table and it was hard to finish half of any meal I was given.  On top of that I just wanted to get off these drugs because I knew before I was on these that none of this was going on so I quit it…too fast one day I didn’t take any of my recommended dosages of Geodon(my recommended dosage was 200mg 2-3 times a day with a meal) and I took none…that was the worst night ever, I was afraid to go to sleep but I tried, oh how i tried… I was fighting with myself and internal war was raging, I was so sore, I was trying to put myself to sleep but i was too hot and then too cold and then I felt like I couldn’t breath… it was horrible I woke up my mother and I was made to take the horrible drugs again…it was either that or Madison Center which to me was hell, the people were nice enough(they kinda have to be) but it felt like a jail cell, a cage, being on the second floor and never going outside or breathing fresh air…being away from family, friends…visits are amounted to an hour at most, calls (only to people on the list) last about 5-10minutes.  So obviously I was doing my best to stay out of that place, and I never did end up going back.