What exactly is an appropriate tattoo for a pirate?  Can’t a swashbuckling foul mouthed brigand put anything he wants on his arm?  Not if he wants to maintain a fierce reputation and the respect of his crew.  One must be careful as to what one chooses to decorate his flesh with.  While most pirates respect the art of ink, none of them will condone you putting your sappy emotions on your bicep.  Stay away from the typical “mom” tattoo in a heart.  Never put a girl’s name there either, unless you want to be called by that name for the rest of your days on the high seas.

How about some creature tattoos?  We could get a nice tough looking bear, or rhino right?

No way!  If you are going to go for creatures you have to use creatures of the sea!  The Kraken, the shark, maybe even king Neptune, but never some pathetic land lubber critter!

What about a little bit of gambling art on your skin?  It is a possibility, as long as you are careful in your selection.

Take a good look at the tattoo, looks pretty good right?  We have lady luck, half naked for extra measure, we got a winning hand of cards, and some dice.  All are great for tattoos, but what is that girly drink there on the edge?  A martini?  Are we having lessons on how to become James Bond or how to become a pirate?  Pirates drink only one thing.  We will go into that in another lesson though.  Nice try on this tattoo there wanna be pirate, but not good enough!

Good tattoos for pirates should involve only a few things.  Women who are in some sort of undress, if you can place them on a body part and make them dance it’s a plus.  Ships, pirate ships to be clear, all pirates are allowed to love and worship their ship. 

Treasure, the digging up of, the stealing of, the spending of, or the dreaming of.

Skulls, skeletons, and generally death themed tattoos are also good.  While treasure maps may also seem like a good bet, just be sure to hide them somewhere they cannot be seen, otherwise a greedy crew member may attempt to steal it, along with a piece of your favorite skin.  Remember to ask yourself how the crew will react to your new body art before you get it, it could just save your life!

This has been lesson four of Privateering for Fun and Profit!