When my third husband left, I was raw inside. Then, for the longest time, I was just numb. A co-worker recommended the MORPG Final Fantasy as something fun to do. I enjoyed the game very much. For several game levels I played on my own or with my co-worker when he happened to log on. He became busy, as young folk do, and interested in other things. The way Final Fantasy is set up, it is necessary to talk with other players and form groups in order to accomplish the various game tasks.

The friends I began to make there really helped. I could pretty much count on finding someone to talk with, someone to join with to accomplish something. It sure beat sitting around alone in my trailer in the evening adding and re-adding the bills or going out somewhere and spending money I didn’t have.

One evening I “met” a very persistent person. One of the first things he asked me was, “Are you a girl?” Although I don’t give out personal information like my real name, address or phone number, I’ve always been honest about gender, age, occupation and similar details. He said that he was semi-disabled, was thirty years old, and of Hispanic descent. We typed to each other, that evening and many evenings after. I enjoyed the time very much, and came to look forward to it.

One evening a mutual acquaintance, one whom I had met in person since he lived close enough to visit now and then, messaged me to ask how old this person was. In the course of the subsequent conversation, I learned that the person I had enjoyed talking (and flirting) with had told one of our group members he was seventeen, another he was twenty, and yet another that he was thirteen. When I asked the fellow about it, he replied, “I would like to be thirty with you, thirteen with so and so, and seventeen with so and so.” I found this disturbing on several levels, so I stopped talking with him. When he did not take “no” for an answer, I blacklisted him.

Should I have been old enough to know better? Probably. I had just had my fifty-second birthday, and was surprised that the feelings and desires I had always had as a woman persisted in spite of my age and not having a partner with whom to share them. The intensity with which the body can assert its yearnings has always startled me. My emotional response to a person of whom I had seen no more than words on a screen and a cartoon cut-out caught me by surprise as well.

I have made many friends over the internet since then. In the normal course of things, it is an exciting way to share views, to exchange ideas, even to slowly become better acquainted and finally meet. I “met” my room mate online five years ago. We had talked online for four years and on the phone for about six months before meeting. In person, he is every bit as nice as he was online.

Still, it is good to keep in mind that we never know people thoroughly. Even in person, they can surprise us–hopefully in a good way, but it that doesn’t always happen. When we “meet” in print, we know even less about that person. It doesn’t stop me from talking with people and from treasuring the people I have “met” in print. It is just a reality byte of which we need to be aware.