I was married for fourteen years.  I divorced because my ex-husband tried to kill me.  It has been a long road for me emotionally and mentally.  I have four wonderful kids but I have made serious mistakes in raising them by myself.  People criticize single parents without knowing and understanding their circumstances.

Granted, the octuplet mom we hear so much about is an idiot but she is not the prime example of a single parent.  She is in it for the child support, publicity and other things.  I am talking about a genuine and hard working single parent who has no choice but to work to take care of their families.  Some are fortunate to have help from family and friends but there are some parents out their who have no help.

Some religions and cultures believe in two parent homes even if there is domestic violence or incest.  It really upsets me. After my ex-husband went to jail, I had two Jehovah’s Witnesses tell me to get back with him or I was not going to see the kingdom of heaven when the end of times came for breaking up my family.   It was the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

All my family ever did was tell me everything I was doing wrong instead of telling me the right way of doing things.  They took me to court and claimed I was an unfit mother while behind my back they were taking my child support money for their own means.  I put some money in my sister’s account to pay my bills and three  of the checks she wrote for me bounced.  Where did that money go?

I just went and lived on my own and I did the best I could.  I was far from a perfect parent but I did love and care about their welfare.  I have moved my kids around so much trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel but it never came.  I don’t think I even knew what I was searching for.   I really had no ambitions for my life.

Now I do.  I want to be a writer.  I love to write.  I write poetry and really went into this to try to start my writing career.  I do want to go to college for a fallback career but writing is what I really want to do.  I also want to make a better life for my son who is my youngest.  I love all of my children but I feel like  a failure as a parent and as an adult.  I can’t make up for the past but I can look forward to the future and do my best to become a better person. 

I don’t know if anyone is in the same boat that I am in but I certainly hope not.  I will say none of my children are in prison or in gangs so I must have done something right.  No matter what happens in your life, always love your kids and be part of their lives as much as you can be.  Things are going to go wrong as they always do, but as long as you love your children, they will know it and will know you are doing your best.