Growing up, I have had a lot of tremendous events happen to me which I still have problems coping with to this day.

I was more scared at this point than I had ever been. He was furious! I just stood there in awe for what seemed like an eternity while he jumped from the chair, throwing his paper, screaming at me in an outrage. I must confess, a part of me wanted to laugh, but I was too scared.

First he took me to the family room and beat me within an inch of my life. I felt, the entire time, as if I were going to suffocate on my own tears. I remember lying there and instead of concentrating on the swinging belt, concentrating on praying. I was silently begging god to please let mommy come home and stop this. No matter how much or how hard I prayed, my mom never came home until everything was over.

After his arms got worn out, he ordered me to get into the kitchen and clean up my mess. I did so, sobbing the entire time.

The next thing I remember is being at home with John watching myself, Cassie, Betty, and George. We all sat quietly on the couch like stair steps. It was a blistering hot summer day. On the couch you had me, who out of fear was a very quiet, by this time, six year old. Then you had Cassie who was a very emotional heavy set girl, George, at the time, a normal little obnoxious boy, and Betty the sister that was usually trying to hurt George.

John walked in from the other room, stood in front of the television and said, “You kids need to go outside and play.” All four of us, without a second thought, stood up and began to walk out. He stood in front of me and looked down with “the stare”, and said, “Not you, you are staying with me.” I just looked down as my sisters and brother were walking outside. After they walked out, he double locked the door behind them.

I remember hearing Cassie, who because of her weight, go over heated very easily, banging on the door screaming and crying that she was thirsty. John ignored her as if nothing at all was going on. He took me to my bedroom and took my clothes off of me. He laid me down on the bed and began trying to have actual sexual intercourse with me.

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