Let me start off by saying that i do not condone spanking these children.  Often these kids are spanked for things they can’t help.  It can cause serious problems later including the asking of this question.  Usually the question will be asked to the best friend.  I have seen this in children with Asperger’s, pervasive developmental disorders, and Kanner’s.  Because these disorders are diagnosed late, these children are more likely to be spanked.  The example child is 16 and has Asperger’s.  His best friend is 18 and will be called Jim.  Jim’s friend asked if he could spank him.  Jim said no like most would.  About a week later he asked another friend.  The other friend never spoke to him again and still doesn’t.  For a socially challenged child to lose a friend can be fatal.  They will go into a depression and may commit suicide.  Jim came to me wondering if he should have said yes.  What I told him is below.

You should not worry that it is a sexual thing because it is not.  He simply wants to learn your reaction to what was done to him as a child.  He also is wondering if he still has the same reaction to it.  It is best to say yes so they don’t ask someone else.  Since you already said no you will have to tell him you changed your mind.  By going through the process you will show him that you are a really good friend who will do anything for him.  You will also ensure he never asks anyone else.  The process should only take 2 months at most if you see him often.  The first step is to make sure you are in private.  Others will not understand unless they have gone through the same thing.  They will think it is sexual.  Second you should ask how they want to do it.  They will usually want it to resemble what they went through or what you went through.  They may ask to use an implement.  If they ask to use a paddle find a piece of wood to use.  They may also ask you to drop your pants or underwear.  If you are uncomfortable with baring yourself ask him if youcan keep up your underwear.  Remember that his whole point is to learn your reaction.  If he insists your bottom is bared pull clothes just below bottom.  He doesn’t care to see your privates.  Most times if a belt was used on him as a child he will want you bared because a belt hits the crack so he wants that part bared.  Next you should ask how many swats he wants to give.  The amount will vary depending on implement used.  The swats will not usually hurt at this time, but if it is too hard tell him.  Once it is over rub your bottom a little. This lets him know he did it right.

About 2 weeks later Jim came back to me. He said the first part went well.  He said that now Eric had asked if he could spank him when he does something wrong.  What I told him was this.  He is wanting to see your reactions now to a punishment.  You should tell him that the only way you’ll agree is if he lets you do the same to him.  Sometimes he will back down an no longer want to do it.  Unfortunately it’s not always that easy.  He agrees sometimes.  If he does just go with it.  Only use your hand on him.  Implements may hurt him too much.  This time the spanking will hurt you more.  This will last about a month.  After this it will stop.  He will never ask again.  Jim was successful as Eric never asked again.  About a month later Eric forgot it ever happened.

This is another case with a kid called Tom and his friend Red, who has Kanner’s.  Tom didn’t want to do 2nd part for far of hurting Red.  I told him there were 2 alternatives.  One is to just let him spank you.  But the problem is that he will one day want to know his own reactions and will ask you to spank him. A good thing to do is to beat him to it.  Start some sort of spanking game.  Make it fun for each of you, even if you have to let him win some.  This make the focus be more on fun than pain.  The spanking should start out soft with clothes up and gradually get harder.  If he starts to turn pink you should let him rest.  You don’t want it to really hurt him.Once he is satisfied it will stop.  Again, he will soon forget it ever happened and will never ask again.  If you get caught by a parent show them this page so they will understand that you were in no way meaning to hurt their child.  If they are fully against it, stop.  The child will forget, but because you were stopped before it was taken as far as he wanted it to be there is a huge chance of it starting again.  I look forward to questions and comments.