Ever since I began writing stories, essays, and “some” poems I have been told by teachers and friends that I am a great writer. In the school I went to there weren’t many writer type. In fact, out of the 300 students we had there were only seven writers. We all formed a group and would hang out, write, and brainstorm ideas for each other. Those were fun times. Teachers always told me that I should try to make writing my career.
I considered it. I thought about it for many years before deciding that, that is what I want to do. It wasn’t until a few months later that I discovered how much it cost to get into any college I was interested in. And so my dream of going to college to become a writer has so far been a failure. I work a job that pays enough for me to live month by month. I don’t earn enough to be able to save up for college. With my pay, it would take probably 25 years before I would have enough. And because of this, I have put all college going thoughts on complete hold.
Writing I still like to do, even though my father is always telling me to, “stop, its a waste of time.” I wish I could say that I completely disagree with that statement, but each time he says it, I always think to myself, “perhaps he is right”. I have been writing less and less since I graduated from High School in 08′.
I used to have a book in progress all year long. I would write one a year. I wrote many, but none of those are worthy of mention. Currently I have a book that I was working on. It is possibly the best one I have written, but lately I have stopped working on it, because I have that feeling that if I do complete it, that I wont get any recognition for it.
I guess that is my greatest fear. Writing a book, thinking its the best, and then being told that it actually isn’t good at all. I am more afraid of that than anything else in the world. If that would happen I would probably quite writing all together. Which is why I write books, stories, poems, essays, and even songs and then just let them pile up in boxes in a corner.
To be quite honest, I need some extreme motivation. If something that I created made me a little bit of money it would be wonderful. Better than that, that being money which I can’t believe I’m saying, would be recognition by another known writer. If I was told by one of my favorite authors, “Stephen King, Anne Rice, James Patterson, or some other greatly know one that I should continue on writing, it would be the greatest motivation I could ever get in my entire life.