Couldn’t he hear her talking? He hadn’t seen her in a while and as soon as she saw him, he accused her of leaving a spot on the rug. She said, “I didn’t do that. I haven’t even been here.”
And she felt really weird when later on she got talking to him about something that he was really interested in and suddenly he acted like he didn’t know what she was talking about. He also seemed to sound like he didn’t even care.
And she just realized that it had gone in one ear and out the other. 
Then as she was talking about all kinds of things she suddenly felt like she was talking to a statue. Unresponsive wasn’t listening to a word she was saying and it was like she was telling a story to a ghost.
He did have stress in his life, but even so. She was suddenly with him again after missing him for a little while. He had a crisis in the family and was acting like he was miles away. And suddenly, Ramona was with him, yet, she felt like she was not.
Driving home, he was quiet. She was talking a mile a minute about family stories. He parked the Volvo and said in a mean tone, “Lock the door.”
And that was it. For the rest of the night. He was quiet. He fell asleep and Ramona wondered what he would do if she just up and packed up her things in the middle of the night and left for home. What would he think then?   

Jennifer Jo Fay     May 27, 2012

Like ·  · Share

Pain ebbing and flowing into an almighty crescendo; spray sprinkling into a salt laced breeze; an almost sultry and almost moody essence; to and fro they rose and settled;

Almost like a monkey swinging from branch to branch so very high up !!

By ‘SunshineRay’s’ side was ‘Red Fox’.

‘Silver Creek’s’ mother.

Her wisdom like no other ;her attachment to Earth Mother would never be severed.

So comforting as she shared the gift of understanding ;of empathy did guide ‘Sunshine Ray’ through each stage;

Feelings so new so painful so powerful; so settled on the nearly to be new mother.

So bravely; silently and inwardly craving for Earth Mother !

“Oh please my Earth Mother just give me a little more strength to endure!!

An almost floating sensation began from so very very deep inside her;

Her inner spirit silently but strongly understood and accepted;

No words were needed for such spiritual communications between Sunshine Ray and her ‘Earth Mother.’

A presence so strong an awareness rising from deep inside her a soothing voice caressing her heart and so deep into her soul.

A feathered friend from his place high up sang to her a tuneful song of sheer reality a connection of heart and mind;that telepathic union that only happens when the soul has endured and has strengthened.

A beautiful song from a bird so entwined with Earth Mother’s almost magical ways.

The words from the bird’s song saying:-

“Come cast your mind

Into coping mood.”

“Only you can succeed;”

“Believe in all good!”

“I will guide you my dear!”

“Put all your faith in me!”

“Only then Sunshine Ray”

“Your strength I can be!!”

With this she felt herself rising far above all !!

The ebb and flow settling down softer tender and almost reassuringly calm.

A so velvet soothing balm.

By now Sunshine Ray understood and accepted such thoughts and unions she gad been granted from above; from way back to when she was a child.

Where she escaped whenever possible to the solace that only Earth Mother had provided her with!!.

Higher beings ;thoughts; cares and supports;

She allowed her her spirit to be cradled by Earth Mother so warmly into her bosom.

At this precise moment all negative thoughts and fears banished never to return!!

The pain still strong but now almost as if it was cushioned like those soft dens she had built in the woods all those years ago;

the dens that she and her Beagle Lassie used to shelter in.

Her heart beat so much deeper and much more powerful.

A stray thought worked its way carefully into her mind and she understood;

her mind had now taken over from her body; and she knew that the harder she worked

and the stronger she pushed so much sooner rather than later she and Silver Creek would be holding this new born miracle so close to their hearts!!

Shimmering Dawn tenderly wiped her wet brow.

She smiled as she told hat she knew by just looking at Sunshine Ray that Mother Earth had paid her a visit and that her tender love she knew was working so well!!

“You are doing so well my Sunshine!!”

Sunshine gasps as she asks of the whereabouts of her man ‘Silver Creek’.

“Shimmering Dawn continued to wipe her brow as she replied

“He is outside at this very moment;”

“So now then let us get to work so we can give him his much longed for son to hold!!

The beauty all aroundSource: freewallpaper.comDespite numerous descriptions of solitary births, other accounts describe births attended by a midwife and other close family members. Men were rarely allowed in the birth room, and they were never allowed to see the birth. A woman in labor stood, knelt, or sat, but she never gave birth lying down. Usually no one bothered to catch the baby, who fell onto leaves placed beneath the mother. Van der Donck and Mooney described post-delivery rituals in which the mothers ceremonially plunged the infant into the river, an act they repeated daily for two years. British Lieutenant Henry Timberlake, an envoy to the Cherokee in the mid-eighteenth century, stated that this ritual made “the children acquire such strength, that no ricketty or deformed are found among them.”European descriptions of Native American women’s quick recovery from childbirth may have been exaggerated. But generally, Indian women’s excellent physical conditioning certainly aided in their recovery from childbirth. Barring any serious complications – which, of course, did happen occasionally – Native American women returned to their regular duties in a very short period of time.

Source from: http://www.drstandley.com/nativeamerican_index.shtml

A Cherokee mother and babySource: flickr.com

Silver Creek was indeed pacing up and down ;to and fro; outside;his heart rending concern etched into his bronzed and tanned face.

He sat down with his head in his hands with deep sighs from just as deep in his being!!

Oh how he longed to be able to comfort his true love Sunshine Ray in his strong and muscled arms.

The only woman he had ever loved!!

And the only woman he would ever love.

He almost begged in prayer for the safe delivery of his son;for his woman to find the strength to give birth easily!!

Oh how so very humbled he felt!!!

Then he felt his mind and soul; the whole of his body fill with a tender and calm reassuring essence.

The true essence that only a deep and true love could bring about.

A voice came from deep within his spirit connected; so powerful;so determinedly!!

“Don’t you worry Oh Silver Creek”

“I hear your prayer.”

“My reassurance you seek.”

“Sit back with love”

“For your woman and son”

“You will all be together”

“You will live on as one!”

Source: freewallpaper.com

Sunshine Ray’s gasps could now be heard stronger and he knew from listening to other births when he and others young boys had hidden so they could hear what went on .

They were so curious of how two women would go into the tent but two women and a baby would emerge from the same tent a little time later!!

“Now then squat and push!!” were Red Fox’s instructions to the nearly to be mother and Sunshine Ray gave one almighty push which came from the midst of her earthly and spiritual being.

Then here he was one healthy very big baby boy ;Red Fox cleaned the mucus from around his mouth and he gave a tremendous cry for being disturbed so rudely!!

Red Fox handed the brand new baby to his mother who in a single instant felt an emotional and so very powerful warm glow rush through;the glow of that most mother sfeel as they hold their new born baby for the very first time.

In came Silver Creek the overawed and proud father after being given permission to do so by RedFox;he was totally speechless !!

He lay down by Sunshine Ray and she handed their newborn son to him; he held him so gently slow in his movements in case he broke something!!

He looked from his woman to their baby again and again with a look that could only be described as ‘true love’.

Red Fox took a final tender look at the new parents so in love and this little boy was going to be so lucky; this unconditional love would surround him at all times as he grew up .

Red Fox was so very wise and the trials she had had to overcome in her life had brought about a sixth sense ;and she knew for sure that the true love witnessed here was special.

“Oh how I love you my sweet lady ; you have given me not only your all but also a beautiful baby boy and I pledge here and now to protect you both and my lovefor you will never diminish” Silver Creek’s voice so full emotion and his eyes wet.

Sunshine Ray snuggled closer to her man with the baby so softly sleeping coccooned between his two beautiful parents.

Siver Creek;Sunshine Ray and baby.Source: freewallpaper.com

A Cherokee wedding is so very beautiful indeed. The original ceremony a little different to todays; it also changes from clan to clan and from community to community.

There is however one very strict rule and that is; they must not marry within their own clan.

The sacred post for this ceremony has to be blessed for seven consecutive days before they are ready for the Ceremony.

At this point the bride and groom step must now approach the sacred fire; they are blessed by a priest or priestess; the relatives and all the guests are also blessed.

Then songs are sung by the Cherokees and a blue blanket covers the bride and groom.

At the right time the blue blanket is removed and in its place is a white blanket is placed.

This indicates the start of a new life together.

As of yet I have not mentioned a ring; this it’s because instead of rings they exchange food.

The groom would bring ham or venison to put in place a promise that he would provide for his family.

Then the bride would provide bean bread or corn to symbolise her intention; her willingness to provide for and to bring nourishment for her family.

his is very interesting in that when a baby is born we would hear the question that is asked;

“Is it a bow or a drifter?”

As early as the birth the baby boys are associated with hunting and the girls with bringing nourishment and giving life.

he Cherokee Nation does indeed have a marriage law; the couple then drink from the Cherokee Wedding Vase. It has two openings but holds the same drink.

Following this ceremony the towns or clans provide a wedding feast and celebrating and dancing can go on all day.

This beautiful ceremony and the beginning of a lifelong unity.

There came magical time;

A Cherokees wedding day.

Uniting ‘Spirit Of The Creek’

With the beautiful ‘Shunshine’s Ray.’

This was for all

A day to remember;

Two beautiful souls

Beginning life together.

On this fresh crisp day

Sunshine Ray blossomed

.A skyfull of glistening stars

Their magic they’d summoned.

They were all overwhelmed

A mesmerized tone of awe.

Even Barney the Bear

Dried his eye with his paw.

Sunshine’s hair was plaited

And so shiny and sleek.

She had bathed and soaked

In the waters of ‘Life Creek’

‘Life Creek’was magical

And only used with pride.

When a man became betrothed

And a woman his bride.

Hours before “Spirit Of The Creek’

With his gleaming bronzed body;

So beautiful and so joyous

His unique spirit told his story.

It was with true love

So full each heart;

Nothing would ever

Drive them apart.

A rainbow formed

In so many colours;

So full of serenity

A love above all others.

“Lone Wolf’ did witness

From great height above.

Within his deep soul

He felt their true love.

This love spread to

Each loving home.

Whether man or animal

Whether they sleep or roam.

A beating of a drum

Rises to a Crescendo.

Thank you dear God

You deserve your halo.

United As One.

Oh Cherokee; how I relate

To your pure wholesome heart

Your beauty shines from within.

We were united from the start.

As I walk through the woods

And sit by the beauty of the river.

It almost flows through my veins

Each sparkling thread of silver.

High Mountains from above

Will be our refreshing glory.

Whilst the gloom of dark pits

Will have to tell their own story.

My belief is now strong

We are united as one.

Our strength from Nature

Till all our work is done.

What was that supposed to mean? How am I dead? I’m right here aren’t I?!

“Well, according to the recent news reports you died from falling off of the building you were trying to rob.”

“But I didn’t rob any building,” I said. I was starting to get a little ticked off.

“Just calm down,” she ordered, sensing the slight raising of my voice, “I know it isn’t you, remember? But right now, everyone who knew you thinks you’re dead. This includes our mystery person.”

I nodded, trying to take everything in. I didn’t understand it but I wanted some time to think and for her to stop talking. I really couldn’t concentrate with her talking to me, she had a voice that forced you to listen.

All right. So I’m “dead”. I have no where to go now. And I really need to pee. Fantastic.

“Do you have a washroom?” I asked.

“That depends. You’re willing to help us?” her voice was stating it more than it was asking it.

“Depends, sweet cheeks.”

“On what?”

“Whether or not you explain to me what’s going on and whether or not you tell me where I can the little boys room is.”

I sat in the hallway staring at the poster that was crudely hung up on the wall. So the army still puts posters up for recruiting. Everything had been explained so briefly that I had no time to think. All I know is that, according to this “agency” thinks that I stole their precious documents. Precious enough to kill me off completely over the media. They all still think I’m guilty, all of them except this lady. The only reason I’m alive is because they assume that I know where the documents are, seeing as they didn’t find it with me. I have nothing to lose, essentially.

The office door opened and she came out with a frown. Not the sign I had hoped for. She sat down beside me and looked down at the floor. Now that I looked at her up close, I realized just how beautiful she really was. He hair had a natural flow to it, it was just something you could tell. She had a slightly pointed nose and amazing eyes of deep, emerald green. I imagine that she was the office hottie around here.

I noticed I was staring and tried to cover it up, “So how’d it go?”

“They want you dead.”

“… So not that good?”

She didn’t even bother to look up, “They said if you don’t know where the documents are, then why would they need you here? They can’t send you out because they’re afraid of you letting out any secrets.”

“What secrets?! I’m not involved in this in any way! Oh, come on. You’ve got to help me!”

“Settle down! I know how you feel, but that doesn’t change anything. The fact that you’re dead to everyone now can’t be changed. You can’t just magically come back from the dead.”

“I never died in the first place! What can I do now then? Kill myself?”

“There is one way. It won’t give you your life back, but it will allow you to walk out of here alive,” she had this expression on her face now. It showed nothing but sly determination.

“Tell me.”

“I can cover for you, time-wise. All you need to do is catch the person who framed you and bring him or her back here.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“You seem like you would back out if I didn’t,” her face brightened a little.

“Smart girl. All right, let’s do it. I have nothing to lose anyway, right?” I felt a smile form on my face.

“Sounds about right.”

“Hey, I never got a chance to ask but… What was in the briefcase?” I asked, suddenly remembering how she didn’t end up opening it.

“Oh, nothing really.”

“Just tell me, it’s been killing me.”

With that, she bursted out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded.

“Nothing… it’s just that,” she wiped a tear away, “If I had opened it, it would really have killed you.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was a gun that they told me to kill you with, in case you didn’t know where the documents were,” she said, giving me the most innocent smile.

This girl is nuts.

  It was getting hot, extremely hot. How long had I been in here? Aren’t these things supposed to be air conditioned? I’m about to give up when I hear a rhythm of knocking at the door. The handle turned, I couldn’t see it but I could hear it, and in walked a woman in high heels. When I say woman, I mean a real woman. She had light brown hair and piercing green eyes. A body that any man would stare at for hours. She wore a black suit that showed a little too much cleavage. I wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or not, but I didn’t care. It was a sight for sore eyes. The only sign of life I’d seen for who knows how long. She stared at me for a second and I did the same, except I’m pretty sure we weren’t staring at the same area. I tried to speak and I realized just how dry my throat was. No sound came out of my opened mouth no matter how much I tried to force it. She seemed to notice since she threw a water bottle at my feet. I took it without a second look. I guess I really was in here for a while. Never had water tasted so good.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked, more teasingly than concerned.

I savored the newly found hydration in my mouth for a little while before I answered. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve and croaked out what seemed to be like my first sentence in years,

“Tiny bit. Can you tell me just what the hell is going on?”

“It seems you got a little careless after you stole the file” she said, adding a little smirk.

“What files?”

“Don’t play dumb. You were caught at the scene, holding the papers.”

My head felt like it got hit by a steel pipe. Lights flashed around in my eyes and I toppled over. Images raced through my mind with the serenity of a train. The pictures that danced around came in no apparent order. The first was a back alley. Somewhere no one should ever go past midnight. The second was of a hooded man following me. And last a sideways view of the world. I gripped the wall that I had been leaning on with one hand and my head with the other. I tried to keep my voice in my throat, I didn’t want to make myself look weak, not in front of this woman. Or anyone for that matter.

“Are you all right?”, Apparently the pain showed itself anyway, “Where does it hurt?”

“I’m fine. Just hit my head earlier… on the mirror.”

The mirror! I got up as lights started flashing in my head again. I felt all the blood rushing throughout my body.

Mental note: Get up slowly next time, I thought to myself.

The image in the mirror, although cracked, showed a disgruntled, messy-haired 23 year old. I slicked back my hair the best I could and adjusted my… robe, if you could call it one. I turned around and realized my backside was showing, buck naked. I stumbled back on to my butt, crawled up against a corner once again.

God, this is embarassing.

“Is it hot in here? Your face is a bit red,” she giggled a bit. She had a cute giggle too.

“Y-yeah. Uh.. I can’t afford air conditioning in here. It’s expensive,” I managed a smile.

Her smile faded and turned in to full-on business, “Let’s get to the point. I don’t think you did anything wrong. In fact, I know we have the wrong person.”

Now a real smile spread across my face and I gave her a wink, “Oh yeah? Is my charm working for me today?”

“No, I just don’t think you have enough brains to break into our building. Our technology is state of the art and our security staff is hand-picked, selected from all over the world. You couldn’t get anywhere near the building with the mind of a monkey, which you have.”

“Well then… Talk about a wake up call.”

“That being said, I want to help you get out of here and catch the real culprit,” there was an edge to her voice as she said the word “culprit”.

“How may I be of assistance, sassy lady?”

She gave me a smile before knocking on the door, opening it and leaving. I sat there dumbfounded until she came back a minute or two later, this time holding a briefcase.

Oh boy, briefcase. She means business.

“We want you to show yourself to the real thief,” she said.

“I know I’m good looking and everything, but mind explaining what good that would do?” another wink and a smile.

“Oh, right. You haven’t had any communication for 72 hours,” Ah, 72 hours, ”So you haven’t seen the news yet.”

“What happened? I died?” I chuckled.

“Actually, yes. Yes you did,” she opened the briefcase and this time she was the one who smiled and winked.

Then the fact that she was alone sunk in. However, she didn’t have much time to absorb the meaning of Elhorir’s disappearance before Nessa rushed in.

   “Your Majesty, King Elhorir had left to hunt that vile creature that you unfortunately were born with and bade me to stop you from following him.” Nessa wasn’t prepared to see a naked Ethane jumping out of the bed as if it was on fire and rush to the door. She managed to squeak out, “Your Majesty, you’re naked!”

Ethane was looking for Elhorir’s young page Fontus but didn’t see him and fortunately neither did the cook since Ethane had planned to raid the kitchen before heading to the stables to start her trek back to what was her home less then twenty-four hours ago.

   
Ethane flung over her shoulder,” if he thinks I am going to meekly sit at home like a good little girl he has another thought coming. That is my sister that causing all this trouble and if someone is to stop her it is going to be me.”
  

She was like the sun, the wind, everything free. And when she smiled her thanks he blushed like he was an untried boy and not a man, a veteran of many battles and commander of armies. He found himself daydreaming. Daydreaming! At his age, he smiled ruefully at himself. He told himself “and why not.” So when he felt her soft and gentle hand on his shoulder he was a little surprised but pleased.
   
“What is the matter?” Nessa was a little concerned for him; it showed in her expressive eyes. Tiwele was surprise that someone was concerned for him. It has been way too long since someone cared enough about him as Tiwele and not just because he was the Captain of the Guard. Tiwele paused a moment before answering,” Nothing now that you are here.”
Tiwele smiled a genuine smile for the first time in a long time. It reached his eyes and lit them. The affect that smile caused Nessa to gasp and her legs to get a bit weak. This hadn’t gone unnoticed by Tiwele who was even more surprised to find that just smiling could cause that kind of effect on her. He wondered about that but he didn’t have long to ponder this 
though. 

Everyone walked into the hospital and boarded the elevator. Nobody said much, just the casual chit chat with Jake.  Jake was really excited; he was going to meet his little brother for the first time today. Once arriving at the third floor, Grandma had taken Jake to the playroom while she headed for the scrubbing room.  She notified the nurses she was there. Brice’s nurse entered the scrubbing room and said the doctor would like to speak with her before entering the NICU.  She quit scrubbing her hands and acknowledged the doctor’s request. 

In a small office on the west side of the scrub room, she sat waiting for the doctor. After a few minutes, he walks in with Brice’s chart. He quickly scans the documents and then in is monotone voice says, “Brice is beginning to take breaths on his own.  We are wondering what you would like us to do if he stops breathing”.  She quickly replied, “Leave him alone”.  The words poured out of her mouth quicker than her brain was moving.  She was upset that he opened the conversation good news then rudely added the question. What was this doctor thinking, getting her hopes up then stomping them into the basement.  He nodded his head and said, “We can unhook him from the ventilator and put you in the Family room to spend his last few hours with him.  That way we can monitor him.” She agreed and gathered the rest of the family.

Upon entering the Family room, she noticed that there wasn’t enough room for everyone.  She asked the closest nurse if there was another room a little bigger for everyone.  The nurse found another room and led the family in. Mom waited for them to bring Brice in. She knew he would no longer be on a ventilator, but what should she expect to see.  How was she going to introduce Jake to his brother. What if there was an accident and a tube came unhooked.  Too many worries.  

Two nurses rolled Brice into the room. One pushed the clear plastic bed while the other pushed an IV cart. Jake began jumping up and down trying to see Brice in his little bed. One nurse said, “someone is a little anxious to meet his brother isn’t he?” Jake finally got to see his brother.  Once the nurses left, Jake got to hold his little brother.  Mom stood over top of them, smiling with tears streaking down her face.  She knew the little boy was beginning to gasp for air.  

Cameras were pulled out of purses and bags, snapshots with everyone were taken. This small precious little baby, tubes up his nostrils and IV tubing dangling from his tiny hand in every picture. A picture of Jake was taken overlooking Brice after a kiss.  This is her favorite picture still today.  After pictures were taken, she decided to step outside for a few minutes and a unhealthy breath of fresh air. 

After finishing her cigarette, she proceeded into the hospital and boarded the elevator.  When the elevator doors opened at her destination floor, her mother was standing there with a look of fear on her face. She grabbed her arm and said “hurry, he is almost gone.”  Both sped to the room where a nurse was standing over Brice, who was being held in her father’s arms.  She looked at her father and could see sadness in his eyes and the tears overflowing his lids. 

The nurse turned around and said, “He is going to start gasping harder, his breaths are getting harder to take.  He will make these sounds until the end.”  What? What sounds? She waited until the nurse left and grabbed Brice from her father.  She began asking questions as to what happened in the few minutes she was gone. Her father said, “I was holding him and he stopped breathing.  After a few seconds he began gasping for air.” She didn’t want to hear any more. She sat on the couch next to her father and stared at Brice. 

As time passed, the horrible gasps for air got closer together.  Everyone tired, including Jake, sat staring at each other as Brice was passed around the room.  It was decided that Grandma and Jake would head home soon.  Jake’s bedtime was nearing and it was over an hour drive home.  More than likely, he would fall asleep during the drive.  Her parents called around to find a motel for the evening.  Everyone understood the night was going to get longer.  Good-byes were given to Jake and Grandma, her parents left for their room, and mom and dad sat in the room with Brice.  After about an hour, a nurse entered the room and said, “We have a rehab apartment upstairs if you guys want to stay up there.  We can even bring baby up there as long as you are OK with us coming in and checking on him periodically.” 

Finally, a chance to spend time with Brice in a home like setting. Of course this was going to happen.  They all walked up to the rehab apartment.  Once inside, she looked around and realized they had a real apartment.  There was a sofa, recliner, TV, and coffee table in the living room. In the dining room/ kitchen, a table with four chairs, a full-sized kitchen, and an empty refrigerator.  There was bedroom off of the living room with a queen bed and bathroom.  This was perfect for spending the last few hours with Brice.  Once settled in, she began to realize she had been there all day and had nothing to eat.  She called down to the nurse’s station and asked if pizza could be delivered to the apartment.  “Of course”, replied the nurse, “We will have them deliver it to this floor and then walk them up to your apartment.” 

The pizza arrived and she began to realize this was the last moments she would have with her precious child.  She turned off the TV and took Brice out of his little plastic bed. She stared at him, eyes swollen with tears, and  stared at all his little parts.  A nurse entered the apartment and said, “I am Lisa, I will be Brice’s nurse for the evening.”  She grabbed Brice’s vital signs and said she would be back later.  As the night went on, the nurse entered the apartment every 45 minutes.  The had all moved to the bedroom, where dad had dozed off already.  She laid on the bed, starring at Brice in his plastic bed.  The room was lit up by the bathroom light. This light landed perfectly on his angelic face. 

About 4 am, Lisa entered the apartment. Dad jumped out of bed immediately. He was a light sleeper and scared that someone was there to take Brice away.  Lisa jumped back when she noticed Dad approaching her. Mom yelled and Dad realized what was going on. He was still asleep when he jumped out of bed.  Mom told Lisa, “Please wake me up before coming in anymore, he tends to startle easily and might attack you and not even realize it.”  Lisa nodded and approached the small plastic bed.  She took vitals as mom laid on the bed watching. 

The look on Lisa’s face terrified her. Why was she looking at her that way?  What is wrong? Is he dead?  Many scenarios ran through her head in the few seconds that Lisa was listening to Brice’s little heart and looking at mom.  Lisa approached the bed and said, “It won’t be much longer.  His breaths are more shallow and his heart is beginning to slow down” Lisa added, “I am going to call the doctor and will be back shortly.” 

Mom began shaking Dad, telling him, “wake up, it is almost time.”  Dad sat up and gathered his thoughts. She lifted Brice out of his bed and began sobbing.  Dad sat staring over her shoulder, leaning on his arm.  Brice began gasping for air and then stopped.  She leaned down and gave him a kiss and handed him to Dad.  He grabbed the small baby and held him close to his chest. He leaned down and kissed his forehead.  Lisa and the doctor walked into the room.  Brice gasped for one more breath while lying in Dad’s arms.  The doctor stood over the bed, waiting to see if there would be more gasping.  Lisa came over with her stethoscope and listened to Brice’s chest.  She looked up at the doctor and slid out of the way. The doctor sat on the bed next to Dad and listed carefully to Brice’s chest.  The room was silent.  The doctor removed his stethoscope from his ears and wrapped it around his neck.  He looked at Mom and said, “I am sorry, he is gone.  I will write 5 am for his death.”  She looked at the clock and seen 5:03 on the clock.  What do you mean 5 am, it is after that now.  She didn’t care anymore.  She just looked at Brice lying there on the bed. He was gone.  His little heart couldn’t take anymore beats. 

Lisa came back later with a small photo album, an ink pad, and a pair of scissors.  She snipped off a piece of Brice’s hair, make a footprint on a card, and place the items in the photo album.  Lisa said, “I am sure you would like to have these for memories.”  After placing the items in the album, Lisa looked and said, “you can keep him as long as you like.  When you are ready, we will come and take him downstairs. By the way, I left something for you on the table” and she left the apartment.  

Once she was gone, Mom decided to make the dreaded phone calls to her parents.  Her father answered the phone and she began sobbing. “Dad, he died at 5 o’clock.”  There was only sniffles heard from the other end.  Then she heard, “Hazel, we need to go to the hospital, Melanie needs us there.”  He then said, “We will be there in a half-hour, we will meet you in the lobby.  I am sorry, we will see you soon, love you.” He than hung up the phone.  She put the receiver down and sat staring at the wall.  Numbness was entering her body. She turned around and looked at Brice again.  They needed to come and get him soon. She did not want to stare at his little body any longer.  She picked up the phone and called Lisa.  Lisa came and got Brice, placed him in the small plastic bed, and wheeled him out of the room. 

She walked out of the bedroom and looked to see what was left for her on the table.  A purple folder with a white rose laid there.  She grabbed the folder and walked downstairs to wait for her parents. When they arrived, they led her to the cafeteria for breakfast.  How could she eat at a time like this.  She sat staring at the folder while everyone else sipped on coffee and munched on toast.  She was ready to go home.  She told them to hurry and she went to the car.  She knew this was going to be a long day.  It was her friend’s birthday and Memorial Day, a day she will never forget.  How was she going to ever going to move on from such an ordeal as this. 

She had to tell Jake when she got home, this was going to kill him. He was expecting the baby to sleep with him in his bedroom.  The crib was already set up, the baby clothes in the dresser, and diapers piled up for Brice’s arrival.  Now the crib was going to remain empty, the clothes would never be worn by her precious child, and the diapers would remain clean. An empty hole within her heart and home.

FIRST STEPS

Cassie counted the steps as she climbed up the stairs to the Grade V class.

Ten… eleven… five steps more and she will finally reach the class that she has been assigned to this school-year. Fresh from college and board examination, this was her first year of teaching and she was as nervous as any newbie can be.

 Three more steps. She stopped to catch her breath as she fumbled with the folders, pencil case and chalk box she held precariously in her arms. “I hope the children will be nice…”she said resolutely under her breath. “Or if they won’t be then…God give me the strength to stand them for an entire year!”

She had just reached the final step when a girl came bounding up to meet her. “Say, are you Miss Cassandra?” The girl asked as she stared boldly at Cassie with a pert half-smile. She was a pretty thing: tall, with eyes that sparkled with bottled up fun and mischief.

 “Why, y-yes,” Cassie stammered in surprise. She stared at the girl who was fairly dancing from eagerness in front of her.

“Then, let me take those for you.” The girl proceeded to take Cassie’s things. In vain she tried to protest but the girl ignored it all and skipped ahead towards Cassie’s classroom, shouting ceremoniously, “She’s here, she’s here, I’ve got her!” as if Cassie was a much-awaited-for package.

There was a slight commotion among the kids as she headed in front of the classroom where her things now lay importantly on the teacher’s table; then childish voices rose in unison to greet her. “Good morning, Teacher!”

Twenty-five pairs of eyes seemed to critically appraise her slight figure in front. Many of her pupils looked taller than her even. Cassie gulped. This is really it.

“Good morning Grade V,” she said, hoping she didn’t quaver. If she did there was no telling it since the children did not seem to notice. Cassie asked them to sit down and began the task of introducing herself. “Hello everybody,” she started, feeling awkward. “I was already introduced this morning during the school assembly, but in case some of you were not paying attention, I’ll introduce myself again.” At this point, some of the kids snickered and elbowed each other knowingly. Cassie smiled. “I am Cassandra Martinez but you can just call me Teacher Cassie. I am your adviser for this school-year as well as your teacher in English. I’m 22 years old and this is my first year of teaching. I hope we will all get along this year. So…is there anything more you want to know about me?”

Several hands shot up, mostly girls’. Cassie nodded to one. “Where do you live?” The girl asked.

“Oh, I live here in this city too.”

“Are you married?”

“No, I’m not.”

“How old are you, Teacher?”

“You weren’t listening again! Teacher already said she was 22 a while ago.” Somebody piped up.

The class giggled and Cassie smiled.

“Teacher, where did you study?”

“Teacher, when’s your birthday?”

They would have gone on forever if Cassie didn’t stop them. “I think that will be enough for now,” she said. “You’ll get to know other things about me by and by. But for now, let me hear you introduce yourselves as well. I know some of your names see, but I cannot connect them to faces yet.”

They complied, although uneasily and shyly, especially the boys. Some were outgoing enough like the girl who had come to met Cassie at the stairs—Cassie learned her name right away: Maya. She was indeed a lively young person as Cassie had instinctively observed for she spent most of the time laughing out loud and teasing her classmates as they introduced themselves. Most of them though were so shy that Cassie had to strain her ears to hear them say their names.

“How was it?” Her co-teacher Frances asked as she came back to the teachers’ lounge for break.

Cassie grinned. “It was alright. One girl even came and escorted me to the classroom.”

“That would be Maya.” Frances said. She had been teaching in the school for two years so she knew the students quite well.

“How did you know that?” Cassie wondered.

Frances poked a straw through a juice-box and laughed. “I know Maya well enough to predict things like that. “Was she nice to you?”

Cassie thought for a bit. “Well…she was ok and was polite and helpful. She was lively during first period though, laughing and teasing a lot.”

“Good start, then.”

“You mean with Maya?” Cassie asked naively.

“Yes with her and the rest of your little universe in Grade V.” Cassie’s co-teacher replied. “”Maya is always the clincher—didn’t you notice, she’s the leader figure in class. Not that she’s a bully or anything of that sort. Her classmates just tend to follow her. If she likes you, then the rest follows. If she doesn’t, well…kids can be pretty nasty.”

Cassie bit into a pear and chewed thoughtfully. There was so much to learn. She sighed and Frances noticed. “Scared now?” She teased.

“As if, they’re just kids!” Cassie retorted.

“Good girl!” Frances said approvingly. “Keep your fighting spirit up, you’ll definitely need it in this kind of work. And don’t worry too much, you’ll figure things out soon enough.” She reassured her.

“I guess…” Cassie laughed. “Good thing you’re here huhh?”

Frances sniffed good-naturedly and bustled off. She had gone to the same Teachers’ College and was Cassie’s senior by one year. Now that they are in the same school she resumed her role as senior and showed Cassie the ropes. It was almost like the unwritten rule of their university—if you encounter one of your own outside who needs helping out, you should help him or her out since you came from the same university.

Cassie liked that rule. She would be sure to do the same when the time comes; she will pay it forward.

The rest of the day went by and before Cassie noticed it, she was already dismissing her class. It has been a tiring day and as she went home, her thoughts still kept on going back to her kids.

Fortunately, Maya had been nice to her the whole day and seemed to genuinely like her. Frances was right about the kid, she was the leader figure in the class. But Cassie could already see wilfulness and stubbornness in the child; if she’ll be made to do things she didn’t want to do later on then what will happen?

Cassie had so much in her mind: there’s her lesson plan to review and pupils’ information to read and record. Tomorrow lessons will formally begin and she is finally going to teach. Will the kids be still as nice to her tomorrow? More importantly, will they learn anything from her?

She wanted—not just wanted, but really wanted and needed—to know that her kids will like her, or even love her if that will be even possible. She also prayed she would be able to teach well enough for the children to learn.

Was that too much to ask? Cassie frowned. Maybe all new teachers felt this way. Or do they?

She sighed, remembering what Frances said earlier. Don’t worry too much. Seemed easy enough when Frances was saying it but now, Cassie wondered if she will be able to do it when there’s just so much to worry about! 

There one thing about progressive TV  that bothers me; It content that’s my I like free speech TV and radio like Thom Hartman  he touches on more issues and i put up his videos on all of my pages. We need voters that are smart  and if put Thom Hartman up helps giving voters incentives to get involved and learn some thing then we’ll come out of this in better shape and wiser. http://youtu.be/Fd-2WvApTpQ and this http://youtu.be/dxfW3TdDcVk an this http://youtu.be/OvB4kdtHnXc http://youtu.be/0TDhi7QF7IE