If this is based on RuneScape, I would suggest to use ACTUAL parts of the game. For one thing, I noticed you used a town name that was obviously not in Gielinor (RuneScape’s world). Beyond that, there were lots of punctuation errors, which made the story hard to concentrate on (for example, countless times you ended a sentence without a space after it). I could understand the story, and liked that attribute to it, but I would suggest that you work on those two things mentioned above. The story was just fine, so I applaud you on that.
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