It’s been said so many times but there are two key differences between batman and superman. Aside from the difference in superpowers, batman is an alter ego for Bruce Wayne, while Clark Kent is merely a cover for Superman. While superman has a vast array of superpowers at his disposal, batman has had to work hard for every skill that he has – instead of super strength and invulnerability, batman has trained in the martial arts and invested in military armour. Batman risks his life every time he goes out at night to fight crime. Superman on the other hand has little to fear from us mere mortals, so how can his efforts be counted as self sacrificing or heroic? There’s one bald guy in the entire city who has an inkling of superman’s one weakness, while every jerk in gotham city has a shot at batman’s several weaknesses as a human being.

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To me, every fight that superman enters seems kinda unfair, even dishonorable. In a fair fight, both oponents are equally matched and equally armed. When superman enters a fight, his opponent shapes up in a martial arts stance that he’s been studing for years, ready to try his hardest to win this fight and ka-bam! Heat vision to the crotch! How is that fair? At least when batman acts kinda cheaply and sneaks up on people from the shadows, he acknowledges that its kinda cheap. Way of the ninja and all that. But superman acts like a jerk and still tries to maintain the whole “truth, justice and american way” thing. Also, how is primary coloured spandex a good camoflague, let alone good taste? Now black armour? That’s fuctional. And sexy. And does superman ever get laid? He always has such a prissy, annoying girlfriend who never becomes a wife. Batman on the other hand, hooks up the ambivalently villainous and smoking hot catwoman *nosebleed* Plus, does superman even need to sleep? Batman has to keep up a fake double life during the day and fight crime at night in a big ass city that, guess what, he can’t fly around. He has to find some time for sleep as well as heal from countless bruises, cuts, broken bones and who knows what internal injuries. Compared to that, Superman’s job seems like a walk in th park. Besides, Superman has like one enemy with one goal. Batman has to contend with a city full of INSANE criminals who seem to be capable of constantly breaking out of a poorly secured asylum. The Joker could be doing anything, anywhere, anytime, totally unpredictable.