Start of episode

The Griffin family are sitting down watching TV.

Voice on T.V: We now return to Peter Pan and the Pirates.

On the T.V, Captain Hook is giving a speech to his crew.

Captain Hook: Bring me the head of Peter Pan. He fed my hand to the crocodiles and last night I thought I saw him peeking at me in the bath through the window.

Peter Pan arrives on screen.

Peter Pan: I know what you’re saying and just because I wear tights doesn’t automatically make me a homosexual.

Captain Hook: No, but looking at my crotch every time we meet does.

Peter Pan: I have a lazy eye!

Captain Hook: Oh, please. The Lost Boys are better at hiding in the closet than you are.

The TV reception suddenly becomes fuzzy.

Peter:  What the hell is this? I pay my taxes and this is what I get? A screwed up TV? This has as much appeal as Barack Obama does nowadays.

Lois: No, Peter, you’re thinking of George Bush.

Peter:  I am? I thought I was thinking of the guy who sent us to war for oil interests and plunged us into recession.

Lois: Yeah, that was Bush.

Peter:  Oh, then this is as bad as the Bush administration?

Lois: That’s right.

Peter:  Fantastic.

The doorbell rings. Peter goes to answer it and finds Joe at the door.

Peter:  Oh hey there, Joe. What brings you here?

Joe: I just thought you should know that there is a rare bird taking refuge on your TV antenna.

Peter:  There is?

Joe and Peter walk outside and look at the roof to find a large bird on the roof.

Joe: The Peregrine falcon, an endangered bird that only exists in a few American states including Rhode Island. Unfortunately for you, it’s now on your roof and they’re a bastard to get rid of.