Bonnie: Oh, my poor Joe. Now we can’t do anything at all in bed.

Bonnie starts to cry.

Lois: Peter, why did you let Joe up there with you and why didn’t you help him?

Peter: Okay, first of all I asked and didn’t refuse at all and second the freaking bird was pecking at my face and crotch at the time. What’s more important Lois? My penis or Joe being able to move at all?

Joe: Isn’t there anything you can do at all to help me, doc? Like some strange surgery that defies modern man?

Dr Hartman: I’ll let you know if I can find anything in that department in a couple of days. In the meantime, all you can do is wait.

Meg: What about the boy who came in with us? Is he alright?

Dr Hartman: Meg, I’m pleased to say he will make a complete recovery.

Meg acts excited.

Dr Hartman: [jokingly] Aw, no. He’s dead.

Meg looks shocked.

Dr Hartman: If you want to say goodbye to him, he’s over there.

Dr Hartman points to a trash can with two legs sticking out of it.

Beginning of side story – Stewie is looking out the window and notices Chris on the way home being bullied and just taking it.

Stewie: Why the hell is he just taking their guff? Chris is a retarded behemoth who would have sex with Danny DeVito if he thought it would give him superpowers. I have to make him more confident if he is to survive in the real world and not make bad choices like I did when I bought that joke can full of snakes.

Switch to outside Quagmires house where Quagmire is watering some plants. Stewie walks on screen.

Stewie: [Trying to act normal] Hey, would you like to have some nuts. [Offering the can]. I would open it but it’s too tough for me.

Quagmire: Sure, I’ll open it for you.

Quagmire takes the can and struggles to open it.

Quagmire: [Handing the can back to Stewie] Sorry little buddy, I can’t open it either.

Stewie: What are you talking about? You just turn it anticlockwise and…

Stewie opens the can and gets a parade of fake snakes attacking him. One of the snakes gets caught in his eye.

Stewie: [running around in pain] Aaaaaagh!

Switch to Stewie’s bedroom where Stewie and Chris are preparing to fight with wooden swords.

Chris: I’m not too sure about this

Stewie: Oh, relax, it’s not like we are risking our lives here, just yours.

Stewie pulls out from his pocket a remote control. He presses a button and a large chasm appears below them with a platform down the centre.

Stewie: Get ready for a life changing experience, young Griffin.

Stewie lunges for Chris with sword in hand while Chris attempts to defend himself. Stewie fights with great acrobatic skill (resembling Yoda), while Chris is desperately losing his ground.

Stewie: You must fight back or suffer.

Chris suddenly gains a boost in confidence and begins to overpower Stewie. Chris swiftly delivers a massive blow to Stewie and forces him off the platform and into the chasm. Stewie’s cries become fainter but soon become louder again as Stewie rises up from the chasm with great joy. Chris looks down into the chasm.

Chris: Hey, there’s a trampoline down there.

As Stewie falls back down to the trampoline, Chris lunges down after him. As Stewie reaches the trampoline, Chris falls onto him and tears through the trampoline, where they both lay in a pile not moving.