Well, contrary to popular belief, the wolf was not the villain in this story, it was in fact Little Red, (who by the way was actually rather large). Before I can tell you the story I must clear up some things at the beginning. Her father was in deed a convict, imprisoned several times for assault, theft and when he had a bit to much to drink, indecentexposure. Her mother was an alcoholic, who made Red do everything. Now you can understand why Red is actually the villain, and that the wolf was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

One sunny morning a wolf decided to go for a stroll down the forest path to his friends log cabin. On that same morning, Red’s mother was yelling something or other to Red, who could understand that she wanted her to deliver a basket to her Granny (mind you it wasn’t sweets, but some alcoholicbeverage no doubt). Noe Red wasn’t exactly the nicest girl, she was in fact a very mean person. She was very tall with a lot of meat on he bones. She wore, of course, a red hood, but it was studed with small spikes, and she sported a black bracelet with metal balls embedded in them. Her boyfriend was a bid tough biker with an big attitude. people were scared of her because of her ways, family and friends (she didn’t have many, but they were pretty scary).

Continuing with the story, she was walking down the same path as the wolf, who had left earlier that morning. Unbeknowest to him, it would be the last walk he took. While on her way she decided to stop and stomp the pretty flowers, and noticed a furry thing wearing a shirt, and decided to see what it was. It was the wolf, with whom she had previous encounters, all of which she nailed one of hers or her boyfriends crimes on him (the police didn’t need evidence, he was a wolf. Of course he was guilty). The wolf saw her and ran for it, but tripped ona  log. Red caught up and introduced him to Mr. and Mrs. Fist . She really had no reason to do it, but because of her violent nature, she did. The wolf got a way with minor bruises and scratches.

Later on Red found herself at Granny’s house. She had the basket in hand ready to give it to her. She opened the door and found Granny asleep, and woke her up startling her. She explained to Granny that if she wanted the booze ( I told you it was booze) she would have to pay up. Granny was upset and didn’t think she should have to. This simply didn’t fly with Red. And she decided to beat up Granny. The wolf, by this time, had gotten further down the trail and got to the same place as Red and Granny. Hearing the attack, he felt the need to help, so he burst in, tripped on a table stand and was out cold. Red had accidentally beaten granny to death. She saw her opportunity. She put Granny inside the wolf and waited for him to wake up. She knew who should be around here at this time. Her plan was a success! Just as the wolf came around, the woodcutter came around. As soon as he was in range she screamed. The woodcutter came running and with one swift chop the wolf was done and Granny was free. According to Red, when she got there Granny was already almost completely down the wolfs throat. There was nothing she could do. They all lived happily ever after except for the wolf and Granny who died and Red mother who during the ordeal got drunk and decided to pet a cute dogie (turned out to be a bear), and her father who was shanked in prison.

Now you know how it really happened. Don’t believe me? well I heard it all froma  reliable source. I once knew a squirrel who followed Red the whole time. No one would believe the story of a squirrel except me, so in the honour of the wolf, I had to write this. if you think I have ruined  classic, then tell it to the squirrel!