This a fictional article in a fictional colonial newspaper telling a story about colonists who tarred and feathered a British tax collector.

            Though tarring and feathering another human being can be thought of as a depraved act of violence and humiliation, John Malcolm can hardly be thought of as human other than he walks on two legs and speaks English.  He deserved his punishment; menacing a wandering boy, collecting taxes for the very country that has turned its back on us, and for siding with the loyalists. 

            On January 25th, 1774, John Malcolm, a local tax collector in our glorious city of Boston, was taken forcibly from his home and tarred and feathered by a group of Patriots, possibly associated with the Sons of Liberty.  This group of Patriots was assembled by an unknown leader after word had spread that Malcolm had struck a fellow Patriot named George Hewes in the  head with a cane.  This occurred during a confrontation that started when Hewes stopped Malcolm from hitting an innocent young boy wandering streets of Boston.  The group of Patriots tarred and feathered Malcolm under the Bostonian Liberty Tree and threatened to hang him and cut off his ears if he didn’t apologize for his actions and leave Boston and never return.    

            All the Patriots involved in the mob should be regarded as heroes to the fight for freedom from the tyrannical and oppressive reign of King George.  John Malcolm is just one of the many British who have tried to take advantage of the colonists in New England.  His punishment, as humiliating and degrading as it was, was just and deserving not only for his actions against that poor boy, but for what he stands for as a tax collector and Loyalist.  He represents the oppression that Great Britain has held over our great 13 colonies for too long.  We have no representation in Great Britain and yet the King and Parliament expect all of the colonies accept all of their demands and taxes.  That is not so, and these Patriots have exemplified that attitude and have done so in the boldest of ways.

            Although the Patriots have expressed excitement and happiness for this event, the Loyalists are obviously outraged and shocked by this event.  It is understandable that they are outraged when one of their own gets humiliated and disgraced in front of an entire city, but their entire political point of view is skewed.  They have sided with the very people who treat us like second class citizens and tax us and make us do their hard work.  They are the ones who have brought this upon themselves, so take no pity on them, for they have wronged themselves.

            Though tarring and feathering another human being can be thought of as a depraved act of violence and humiliation, John Malcolm can hardly be thought of as human other than he walks on two legs and speaks English.  He deserved his punishment; menacing a wandering boy, collecting taxes for the very country that has turned its back on us, and for siding with the loyalists. 

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