GD sat on Inkigayo`s waiting room for his turn to perform. He watched as the girls take the stage performing Pretty Boy in full for the first time, wearing those futuristic attires and killer boots.  It`ll be his third time to perform Heartbreaker. Already he has won two awards from Musicbank and people are betting he`s getting his first Inkigayo Mutizen award this afternoon. He knew he needed to completely focus on this performance but a part of him is still not over the news of Dara and Lee Min Ho`s reported 100 kisses.

The first round of pictures released Thursday turned out ok, actually. Nothing compared to the two kisses Dara had shared with her previous two leading men, but this news would take more of him to brush off. Dara assured her they were nothing. The director just wanted a perfect shot. Their lips didn’t even meet in most shots. He believed her, really, perhaps he shouldn’t just have read that `bruised lips` part. Whether seeing her really locking lips is better than 100 pecks causing bruised lips, he can`t decide, but he knew both don’t appeal to him.

*

“G Dragon!!!! Heartbreaker!!!” GD heard the announcement. He moved forward, bowing to Taecyeon, Ha Yeon Joo, and Wooyoung. Ah, Wooyoung, another of Dara`s admirers. He must admit he`s a little harsh on the guy, a little cold on him during the interview, and still, even now as he handed him the flowers. But he can`t help it, Wooyoung obviously made sure to hand to Dara the bouquet of flowers the one time 2NE1 won a Mutizen. Could`ve given to CL who was nearest him, but no, he just had to hand it to Dara. Props for the guts, bro, but still I don’t like it, he thought. Nothing personal but Dara`s mine, k?

He felt the trophy and flowers they gave him. Flowers he still owed her, he remembered.  Flowers, he`d been wanting since forever to give her, not anonymously like her secret admirer, but with everyone witnessing like Wooyoung!

As soon as he finished saying his thank yous GD turned to the girls who were standing behind him. He saw her smile so proudly of him. 

Dara sensed that her boyfriend is up to something with the smug grin on his face.

Before she knew it GD has extended his arms to her, flowers on hand.

Dara, panicked, turned her head away.

The three girls were equally caught by surprise, all laughing it off.

GD laughed it off as well. A little bruised really, but if they saw it as a joke, then let it be so, he thought. Just don’t think I didn’t try.

Dara, what is this game we play? He asked himself as he puts on a happy face and sings his song.

*

GD was in Pres. YG’s room. He’d received a call from him as soon as he arrived the building.

“Ji, sit down. Good job on your performance and win… but that’s not what you’re here for… somebody called and told me you tried to give Dara the flowers earlier. I’ve been replaying the scene over and over and It’s quite hard to tell. Tell me they’re wrong.”

GD was shocked. He was just basking in happiness sharing the stage with his girlfriend, nursing a little bruise as she refused to accept the flowers, yeah, but he understood. Yes, he understood, but to actually get a reprimand from the president is pushing it.

“I did try to hand her the flowers”

“Why?”

“Why not? It’s nothing… no big deal.” He shrugged.

“Apparently, it is. If someone thought this was a cause for alarm, then it must be.”

“Someone? Who?”

“It doesn’t matter… let’s just say some fans could get jealous if this goes around. You’re lucky the hosts were there to block you. You know this.”

“I have always been close with 2NE1. YG family, after all, right?”

“I think this case is different. You and Dara just collaborated.”

“What’s the deal? I had recorded with Bom noona before and there was never an issue bout it. As for Hello, it’s doing well on the charts, isn’t it? I don’t think they mind us collaborating.”

“This is different.”

“How?”

“You know exactly how. I know you. I saw you grow up before my eyes. You’re like a son to me. Don’t think I`m blind to your songs lyrics, or your treatment to her.”

Some silence. GD could hide his feelings for her, but denying it is another story.

“If you forbid me to see her, I can’t do it… I won’t do it.” He looked at Pres. YG firmly in the eye.

YG looked away, shuffled some papers in his desk. “Don’t be silly. Just avoid situations like earlier.”

“What if I can’t?”

“You’ll have to. You must!”

“What if I can’t?”

Do you want to see career suicide?”

“Let me.”

“Watch Jaebeom, multiplied ten times.”

“Netizens have killed me before, time and time again, I think you know what I mean by that. They mock my music and my style, laughing at my failures, scorning at my success, spitting ridiculous allegations! They can’t hurt me anymore than they already have!”

“And what about Dara? Can she handle it? She`s been through a lot already since debut. They dug out her past projects but thankfully it`s all forgotten now, ok, but don’t add to that! You are different. You`re someone she`s never dealt before. They’ll bring her down Ji. It’s enough for now that they think she’s 2NE1’s weakest link, don’t you think?… Just think right. Do it for her. Tomorrow we release her single and this week her MV will follow. She’s showing a lot of promise; don’t ruin her dream for whatever is it that u feel for her.”

F.u.c.k them! He thought. They can all go hell, I f.u.c.k.in don’t care. And by the way, we LOVE each other!

He stood up. He couldn’t stay much longer. Hiding their feelings is one thing but to actually be told like kids just because of what other people think is another.

“Calling her noona whenever you have to address her in public would be a good start. Mention some cute girl from other entertainment companies during interviews. This week you start your radio guestings, right?”

“Yeah.”

“K, I’ll take care of it. I’ll make sure they ask you the questions… We may have to release more publicity photos for Cass CF too, just as added measure. You may go now.”

GD walked away without saying goodbye. He felt like punching all the strength out of him, to drain himself dry so he can sleep dead tonight, so that he won’t have to think about what Pres. YG just told him. This is what he gets for winning and being in love??? F.u.c.k!

Rinnngggg

“Hello.”

“Blondie, what happened between you and Pres. YG?”

He cleared his throat and acted to sound cheerful for her.

“Oh, he wanted to congratulate me for my Inki win. That’s all.”

“Cool! Ah, I won’t tell him that to his face that but he really is cool, in a way.”

GD didn’t respond.

“I’m proud of you…”

“Thanks.”

“Are you okay?”

“Of course! I’m just tired, I guess.”

“Ah..okay…well, get your rest now. Got to go now, I’m hiding inside the

bathroom. It’s pretty weird talking to you here. Bye!”

“Dara!”

“Yes?”

“I… I really wanted you to have the flowers.” If I’ll be damned then I’ll be, he thought.

“I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t take it. Not in public, Ji, you know that.”

“But you can accept flowers from your fanboys…from Wooyong?”

“Hey, what are you talking about? You know that’s an entirely different case.”

“Couldn’t you just play along?”

There was no answer.

“The other girls would’ve taken it, I bet.”

“Well… why didn’t you give it to them then?”

“Why would I give it to them?”

“I don’t know, Ji… What’s your point, anyway?”

GD suddenly regretted not ending the call when she said her goodbye.

He breathed deeply.

“Why can’t you just be like CL, or Bom, or Minzy?”

Long silence then GD heard Dara break down on the other line.

“I’m sorry, ok? Im not CL or Bom or Minji, ok?”

“Noooo… nooo.. baby.. listen here… that’s not what I mean. Sorry. Please don’t cry. I just wish we’re free to show our feelings. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Well, we’re not! We can’t really do anything about it… and I’m so tired of this.”

“Baby, I’m sorry… hush now please…”

“It`s the same issue, last Sunday and now? And then what? Tonight we pretend nothing happened? And then after a week what? You hate me for not loving you as much as you want me to? As much as I want to? I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

GD heard Dara`s sobs on the other line and it was killing him. “No, baby I don’t hate you.  And please, don’t say that… you don’t mean that.”

“I’m sorry, Ji…bye.”