Ooohhhhh, this is a hard fall. Five blissful days with my wonderful friend, only to come back to the final week of the semester, i.e., a final exam and long-ass paper that’s making my brain hurt. Bleggghh….

Well, it was great! I met his dad, stepmother, youngest brother and other assorted relatives. What wonderful people. I was touched by how instantly welcoming and warm they were. They made me feel very comfortable. It was a relaxing, fun time, and I’m really just hoping they liked me as much as I liked them.

These last days have also given me a chance to perform well in the semester final exams but I am blank. I don’t want to study and thinking about those finals produce goose pimples. It wasn’t just the downtime and being away from home for long hours; I’ve had some really great, important conversations that only serve to reaffirm – that I can interview people well. I can fell the Déjà affect… Same VVIP’s I have met last year are again on my list. I’m not sure if I can explain… I guess I’ve always just had an idea of how I’d like to tackle these people and get some worthy information out of them, how I’d like to be treated and spoken to, the kind of connection between us and how we – together and individually – treat the questions. It’s astounding, really, to experience something like this. I feel both so lucky and a little freaked out, wondering how such good people ended up in my life. I’m a bit stunned, yet I think I deserve someone like them and something as loving and healthy and fun as what we have, even as I hope and hope and hope that I can bring as much change as I can, of course positively.

All this goodness helps on weeks like this one – I’m overwhelmed and exhausted and anxious for my life. Last night, as I started to write here, I was feeling all this stress and pretty much snapped. This post originally swung into a pretty ugly place, and then I realized it was pointless and would bring me problems, and basically, I’ve realized something: the computer is overwhelming me. I work on one, do my university work on one, and then have to stay on it if I want to write. And lately, I don’t want to be on the computer if it’s not university or work. And I think what was made clear last night was that I can’t sit here and write out of a sense of duty, without really having much to say, anymore. I need to go back to writing because I want to and not because it’s been 7 days since my last post.

For now, I’m going to play this by ear and write when I feel like it. Let’s see how it goes.

Fortunately I’ve met some people this week, quite new to me, but honestly it has been months conversing with people informally, using terms like bitch and whore, probably this type of conversation helps you socialize in a completely different manner. I am not focusing nor mentioning the gender… So that is it for today, this was just to break my writing fast