This story takes place in the distant past. It was during the great years when “Heavy Metal” still ruled the air and there were only the original three “Star Wars“ movies. An age of Beta vs. VHS! A time of Coke vs. Pepsi! A time when Don Johnson was the biggest star around and Bruce Willis was just a new guy on some TV show! It was the late 1980’s and rock god Alice Cooper was on his big comeback tour!

Alice had been through some rough times in recent years. Booze and low record sales had taken its toll on him. But with the help of his wife, and golf, Alice was clean and sober and ready to rock!

Me and two friends were headed to see Alice play in Wichita, Kansas. Derrick (my best friend) was 90 pounds of endless bullshitting and rock & roll trivia. Todd (our other friend) was 350 pounds of endless bullshitting and lies about everything else!

We took our seats and had a good view of the stage. Soon, a balding middle-aged man sat down in the seat in front of us. He looked completely out of place at this concert. With thick glasses and wearing a red wool sweater over a white button-up shirt, he looked more like a college professor than a rock & roller. We reasoned that his teen-aged children must of forced him to come, and then ran off to be with their friends, leaving him alone in the crowd. Together, we all suffered through the opening act. I think it was “Dokken”. They were having equipment problems and were maxing out their speakers. The bald man sat quietly through it all. Not moving or speaking.

Then the time came at last. The lights went down again. The crowd grew quiet. Finally, a local DJ moved to the microphone near the front of the stage.

“Wichita, Kansas…are you ready to rock? Then please welcome… Alice…. Cooper!”

At that very instant, the quiet man in front of us underwent an instant transformation! It was like some kind of freaky split personality! He shot straight up out of his seat and screamed at the top of his lungs…“Alice!!!” We were all stunned and shocked! As Alice hit the stage, the bald stranger whipped out a pipe, stuffed it with marijuana, and lit up! “Alice!!! You rock man!!! Yaaa!!!” He tried to “puff-puff” and then “pass-pass” to us! We politely passed on his kind offer and went on to watch the show! In the end, the show kicked ass (still one of the best I’ve ever seen) and we ended up with one of those little stories you will never forget.