AMBER

—————————————————————————————————————————-

  Most of the time we talked about death. When we didn’t talk about death, I thought about it all of the time. Death trumped all, even sex. It was all around us, and even in our most cherished moments, it was a troubling preoccupation. Death and dying, two concepts which permeated the air and soaked into the seemingly solid universe. So, it stands to reason, that after a few drinks it would come up in casual conversation. We spoke of friends who have passed on, celebrities and strangers alike, before the conversation devolved into the usual religious dogma.

  So many speak of God’s Plan, and how they may earn a place in heaven. They speak of Hell and Purgatory, but they know nothing. In the end, all religious dogma fails by virtue of it’s own contradictions. The best laid systems devolve into chaos, and the followers are left to deal with their own stupidity, and the stupidity of the teachings they have followed. All arguments aside, no one has any idea what happens after we die. No one knows if the soul leaves this place or if it ends, or if it exists in the first place.

  There were so many theories, so many beliefs, and no physical evidence, save the dysfunctional bodies that are left behind. I didn’t believe in a god, gods, or the Pearly Gates. No angels or demons populated my imaginings of my final destination. I am not even sure that I believe in a destination at all. Maybe we die, and we don’t even know it. Maybe we dissolve back into the earth and become something else. Maybe I shouldn’t waste what time I have left worrying about such intangible and inevitable things.

  You won’t know what to believe, until you find out for yourself…and I think you are going to be in for a big surprise. Never in a thousand years could I have imagined a fate so cruel, a future so pointless…and endless. It may have been forty minutes ago, or forty years, I really can’t tell. There is no hell, no heaven, no god, no angels…no pearly gates…just a bright sunny view straight ahead of me. The expanse of freeway is the same as it was, along with all of the buildings, cars, and drivers. It is all the same. Nothings changed…nothing at all.