Being a zombie in this day and age isn’t as difficult as one would imagine. Certainly, it’s far easier to get by as the living dead than it was even 20 years ago. All night shopping centers and internet groceries delivered to your door step keep even the most decayed of the walking dead’s refrigerator well stocked with mouth-watering, raw, dripping meats.

The biggest difficulty to a zombie looking to strike out on his or her own is lining up a respectable dwelling. The world hasn’t quite yet discovered the value of 24-7 leasing offices, but diligence is the key. With enough effort, you should be able to find a leasing office willing to work with you through the internet to get paperwork and what not taken care of. I, myself, was able to locate a nice young lady, Amy, who was an absolute peach, and made the whole process painless through internet correspondence. Now I’m the proud lessee of a two bedroom, one and a half bath, laundry in unit, apartment complete with a private balcony. Well worth the effort.

Finding a decent job is even easier to arrange. Dozens of companies have realized how much money they could save by farming out customer service positions to people looking to work from home. Anyone can sit at home and answer their phone for any number of reasons, not to mention the people who would just rather sit at home in their underwear and make money doing it. I set up a small office in the second bedroom of my apartment, and sit cozy, answering phones for the late night home shopping networks. Man, let me tell you, people buy the weirdest things.

So, there you have it, a glimpse into the everyday life of the modern zombie.

Until next time, braaaiiiins…