The pudding took quite a while. When it did arrive the waiter said,

     “Chef apologizes but one of the Apple Tartine’s is slightly over-caramelised”. 

     By which he meant ‘burnt’. 

     “Not to worry”, said I “when it comes to the bill you will find that payment will be slightly under-capitalised”. 

     By which I meant ‘short’.

     I took my youngest daughter to the hairdresser today to have her hair washed and dried in preparation for her role as a bridesmaid at a wedding this afternoon.  I waited the 30 minutes.  I was offered a coffee and excellent it was, too.  I froze under the ferocious air-conditioning and endured what must be the archetypal salon music of Whitney Houston.  Right beside me was a young woman having her hair cut.  The hairdresser was bald, although what this says about his knowledge of hair and the cutting of it, I know not.  It’s a bit like a barefoot cobbler, at odds with the game.  They talked about holidays, and then she said,

     “I like said to my children that I like wanted a memento at the end of the year”.  And I thought, what a good idea, get your children to do something at the end of each year to remember the important happenings. 

     “And so my youngest did like a portrait of me with this like weird haircut.”  I could confirm that the haircut which was currently being worked on would not suit everyone – a long phalanx of hair covering one eye completely and the top and back being effectively shaved in a crew cut.  Not everyone’s choice.  A very modern mum indeed. 

     ” I must be the only teacher who has like weird haircuts” she continued.  Ah, a teacher, my God !  I thought this “like” business was something that young children were picking up off each other, like nits, and the television and their Game Boys.  I had little idea that it was actually part of the curriculum or at least so it seems if this young teacher is anything to go by.   Mr. Balls would no doubt be proud of his recruit.  I am often asked at home if I have “like £10″ and I respond by saying “no” because I do not have “like £10″ I actually have the real thing – £10.  I know it’s the modern idiom but it does seem to be a little distressing when even the teachers can’t get it right or is it perhaps that they are talking like the children in order to get their attention or to be better appreciated, more understood.  After all, this girl was singing along with occasional phrases to Whitney Huston in a very trendy fashion – which did nothing to complement the original.  All the other hairdressers were doing this I noted.  Does it make one ‘hipper’ to be trying to cosy up to Whitney Houston.  Does it give one cred ?  Should I start doing this.  Should I start to like ‘like’ ?  “Am I missing the point”.  What do you think ?