It’s the first time in a long time that I find myself being the sole member of the family who is still awake. It is the first time that I’m actually staying up late to have some leisure time with the computer.

Schoolwork has been killing us

Let’s get some facts straight: lack of sleep is bad for your health. You may tell yourself that you have a deadline to catch or that you haven’t had time for yourself lately or even that all the other people you know don’t sleep as early as you.

However, the bottom line is, insomnia is bad for you. Justify it however you want but your body will feel it. Lack of sleep will bite back.

And so the question: why do I, knowing this fact first hand, still choose to deny myself of good dreams and long, painfully enjoyable morning stretches?

The truth is, I don’t really know

I cannot bring myself to blame the school for giving us too much work. Nor can I point the finger inwards and at myself since I had done more work and have been more responsible these past few weeks than I’ve ever been in my whole student life.

Sometimes, I just think that I’ve already bitten off more than I can chew.

Thinking about it, I realize that I have a lot on my plate right now. I have to be familiar with how to run my org so as not to make a total ass of myself next year. And I have to work extra hard to maintain my grades after I found out that I may probably have the lowest IQ in class (129 folks. That’s 1 point short of GENIUS).

Somehow, responsibilities were offered to me, like chunks of mouth-watering steak dangling in front of my face, and I just took and took and took. Now I have come to understand that the hand that fed me is now expecting an equal amount of effort in return.

I am having serious doubts right now if I can even give anything back.

While all this is going on in my head, outside forces have steadily pushed me ever closer to insanity. I barely just got past this week, which ended with a whopping two long test and one major bitch of a project.

The short respite afterwards is welcome, even if it is short. I only have Saturday to rest up and recover before I need to prepare for the integral calculus and programming method.

And of course there’s that little problem of me failing my last two long test in Math (29/42 & 27.5/50) bringing my overall class standing to about 72%. Shit.

So, quoting Ryan so eloquently griping a week before, “shit, we have a project deadlines and long tests and then Exams instantly. I want to rest!”

I feel like my head is about to explode just thinking about. Although, maybe it’ll implode first. Just maybe…