Because I love you

Richard, I have asked you time and time again to put the seat down on the toilet after you have finished doing your thing. Why can’t you have a little respect for me and put the seat down?

Baby, it’s because I love you so much. What, are you crazy?

Come over here and sit down and let me explain. I leave the seat up so it will be nice and clean when you sit down. No accidental splash backs when being flushed or else ways. If you were to sit down on something sticky and irate that beautiful smooth skin of yours it might turn into a rash. Then I would have to take you to a doctor and spend some of the money that I’ve been saving to buy you a new car.

Then I would probably be so depressed over the idea of your lovely body still driving around in that old clunker, that I wouldn’t be able to perform satisfactorily as your husband.

So you see, I leave the seat up for your protection because I love you so much.