I would like to tell you of the impact of child sexual abuse on an adults life.  Unfortunately I will be telling this story with first-hand knowledge.  I was sexually abused first by my uncle and then my biological father.  It made me feel very lonely and worthless.  I had many boyfriends to try to fill the emptiness but it never helped.  I started to do alot of drugs and I drank alot.  Nothing could take away the pain I felt. 

I became pregnant at 16 and then again at 18.  I got married when I was 19 to a man who was neither childs father.  By the age of 20 I was pregnant again.  My husband had become very abusive in every way, but to me it seemed to be a normal part of life.  When he started to abuse my first two children I left him.  Two years later I got married again.  This man also turned out to be abusive to me and my children.  Over the many years of abuse my self esteem had gone out the window and I had allowed myself to balloon to 315 pounds.  I decided to have gastric bypass surgery. 

After losing 145 pounds I decided to lose another 250 pounds and divorced the worthless heap I had fallen victim to many times.  I still think about my past regularly but instead of feeling sorry for myself I think “wow, I turned a bad situation good.  I am worth something.  I feel like I have overcome alot but there are more hurdles ahead.  I sometimes wish those horrible things never happened to me but that is what made me who I am today.  I am a strong person and I don’t need a man in my life to make me feel loved.  I have my children, my friends and my job.  If you are being abused in any way, I urge you to be brave, take that step and change your life.