Will probably be continued…

January 16, 2009

“An Addendum to Yesterday’s Confessions”

1. I’m scared I’ll pass out due to some medical malady and I’ll wake up to find my dog has chewed my face off. Lips, nose, cheeks, an ear, an eyebrow, who knows? There’s a rumor it happened to some lady who attempted suicide by taking a bunch of pills and passed out on her living room floor. She woke up to no lips with a cheek missing, I think. But anyway, that’s definitely a fear of mine because I know my dog loves to chew stuff. He’ll chew anything.

2. My nipples have different personalities. The left one’s a bit of an introvert. The right’s a bit more extroverted. I assume it’s easier for the right one since it has a couple of friends. Seriously. Not full blown extra nipple action, I guess, but two small, but definite bumps. It’s like Bob Ross came in and painted my nipple two little friends. I’m okay with it and no one’s ever not been okay with it. So, no big deal. I imagine it might be why lefty’s slightly more reserved. Being the loner and all.

January 20, 2009

“Once again I take up the pen and release my sin…”

My grandmother on my dad’s side has Alzheimer’s and lives in a home. We were never close and she wouldn’t remember me, so I don’t visit her. I feel bad about it from time to time, but I think I’d feel worse after explaining who I am 50 times in an hour and never seeing much pleasure in any moment of recollection, if any, that occurs. I don’t think she’s missing much. Maybe I’m not either. There’s a sick, cold feeling that comes with the realization that you’ve pretty much already buried someone and you’re just waiting on the funeral. This and many other reasons is why my space is so scarce. I wouldn’t want anyone in my family or anyone too close to my family to read that or many other things. You remember that thing I do with the gummi bears? Sometimes I make an orange bear be the baby after a red and yellow scrump. Just saying. I still occasionally lick 9-volt batteries. I could easily kill half a day with play-doh. I won’t go into the ocean during my period. My reasoning is that sharks can smell blood, are attracted to it, and I don’t want Jaws chomping my crotch. I’ve sometimes wondered if doctors and nurses have ridiculed my naked body when I’ve been put under anesthesia. I’ve never been in love.