Why do I seem to be vulnerable and susceptible to the controlling behavior of others? What makes me hold my anger in and spew out at the wrong time? What makes me feel that my input is not as valuable as that arrogant high income boss I’ve got? Really, I know my ideas are very good. I know I’m smart, and I’ve been here about eleven years more than this guy, but he’s moving up, and I’m still stagnant. There never was much room on the ladder for me because the wood of the rungs are corrupt with executive worms and the diseases of deceit. Surely, if I step there (you know, towards the top), that’s when I must compromise my moral health in exchange for the infection of corporate debauchery.

I know I can’t be alone in this. It’s kind of like being caught in a snare; to be of good character, and still try to find some sort of self satisfaction in a work place full of slithering snakes, charming at will, and striking with venom. How do good, intelligent people accept a higher level position in today’s management sphere? I mean of course, with a clear conscious.

These managers are taught to be corrupt. They are schooled in the arts of lying and cheating. They have degrees in manipulation and confidence killing. A prerequisite to management where I am, is ripping out your heart, and throwing compassion down the john, and believe me, the powers that be will be listening for the “flush” and gurgle as your humanity drowns and fades out of sight.

Does this make me a pessimist? Some would say so. Does it make me a realist? I would say so.

I really want to take that promotion. I haven’t worked here all these years just to remain in the same seat for ever and ever. I need more pay. Times are hard, and my bills are higher than they’ve ever been before. I am a single female without kids, so Uncle Sam isn’t handing me any support. In fact, just because I’m single, I pay more to the government. There are no “breaks” for me. The fact is, sadly, that in some circles, females are still not even equally paid for doing identical work. My work place is also a major hitter in this category. I’ve always been upper managements’ support beam. The reliable one, the one they can depend on. Through the years, I’ve seen many of the upper managers came and go. Fired and quit. Surprisingly, their positions are less stable than mine…I see that too!