One thing about writing a personal essay is that I feel that I don’t have to devote my life to it. Right now I’m writing a personal essay in my cozy room, with a decorated fireplace illuminating the room with its orange flares. A deadline on Thursday, feels like I could really use a staples “That was easy” button. Writing an essay, especially when you have a deadline, is quite demanding from me. It’s like a difficult marriage with a lot of uncontrollable children.

Years ago I was feeling so overwhelmed with a script that I was writing for a production company, and what I felt that I had to accomplish this in my life. I figured out on a calculator how many days I had left, how many pages I had to write, and leaving room for rewriting and editing, just exactly how much did I have to write every day to finish it on time. Since I am more of a numbers type, I had the numbers written down on every page I wrote; like a new year’s countdown. Said to myself that I can do it of course, I just have to keep working 7 days a week until I finished which wasn’t a big deal since I had nothing better to do.

When I’m not given a deadline, I have time to fool around with life, and I love traveling with family. On a trip to area code 212, or known as New York City, I observed many things about the people and the culture. Hundreds or even thousands of people were rushing to work as every second passed, not even bothering to help the elders cross the street. The people had no time to think or relate to others, or to pamper their senses. I used to enjoy waking up and looking out of the hotel window, looking down at all the people who seemed like ants from where I was standing. Sitting on the ledge of the window I noticed a small café and realized that our daily conversations have reduced to simple hi’s and byes, simple talks over coffee because of the lack of time left for us to enjoy. I figured out a lot about my own life watching the busy people of the New York, students and workers emotionally understood each other in the sense that they both worked from Monday to Friday. One of the joys of writing the scripts during travels, the amount of clarity that was floating around me. People, their actions, and their haste in life all created a small part of my life, which I would note on the pages of the scripts and wrestle with it until it made sense and there was meaning to it.