Date: 09/11/09

Time:3:55pm

My Reading: I’ll be honest, I’ve been struggling with the reading because I lost my love for a good read a long ass time ago… it’s not that I CAN’T read, because I can, I struggle through books…  but don’t think for one minuet that I’m gonna give up just because I struggle, it’s just taking me more than thirty minutes to get it done.

My Fitness: Last night was great… I think I might have over done it a little, but I have a feeling that everything is gonna be okay.

My Nutrition: Alright…. so I’m not eating the healthiest meals, but then again I’m only eating one square meal a day, and dinner is better than not eating at all.  I’m not starving myself because I think it’s cool or because I think I’m a total fat ass or anything like that, I’m just not hungry…  is that wrong?

My Two Choices: Wake up early tomorrow to go through my WHOLE closet or not… cause I’ve got clothes that I would never consider wearing again, but that would leave me with less than what most people walk away with from “What not to Wear”… i think 3 pairs of jeans, 4 tee-shirts, 3 dresses, 1 sun dress, 2 pair of sweat pants, 2 pair of sneakers, 4 dress shirts and 3 pair of slacks.

My Positive Experience:  I don’t understand why all ex’s are considered bad…  I get along with most of mine just fine.  It might have to do with the fact that I have few friends to begin with and secondly, they know me.

My Random Kindness:  Not yelling at the people hanging out at the bottom of the stairs… so, real quick cause I know you don’t know this about me, I’ve been raped by black men and mexicans, my white boyfriend at the time also sold me to three mexicans for $25 TOTAL…  I have issues that will never go away, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to judge someone just because there skin color is the same color of the person who did bad things to me… I still have alot of healing to do.

So… why am I having such a bitch of a time getting rid of, well, stuff???  Because I am a pack rat… this is not an excuse, I ask for no apology in my being a pack rat…

could I use some help with this???  uhh, YEAH!

what prevents me from saying anything??  it all has to do with how you were raised…  I was raised to:  Speak only when spoken to, Be seen and not heard, If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all.

My mother is a pack rat, she holds on to so much stuff it’s not even funny.  She’s STILL holding onto a dress from sacks fifth ave. that was bought in the mid 70’s that she hopes to wear one day but she doesn’t know if she ever could again because… once again… she used to be a size three, and after having my sister, she went up to a size six.

Dose anyone else wonder why I have a problem to begin with?

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