As I lay here on my deathbed, I should be thinking about myself and what I should be doing with my last few precious days of living. However, I can not help but think about everyone else. Everyone I have known. Everyone I have made happy. Everyone I have hurt. It’s funny, but, having death staring me right in my face, my life makes so much more sense. I have no regrets. I believe that I have lived my life to the most that it could be.

There are things I wish that I had done better though. That may be a contradiction, but I don’t believe so. In the months before I found out that I was going to die, I hurt a lot of people that I care about. All I can think about now is how I wish I could know that they are going to live happy, fruitful lives. After hurting them, I of course tried to mend them and fix the problem that I created; however, I only made matters worst. Before I die in the next couple of days, I just wish that I could know that they will be happy.

I also wish this of my family. I wasn’t the best son or brother. I wasn’t always responsible or respecting as I should have been. They treated me in a way that I could have never asked for. It was amazing. I love them. I only wish that I had shown them this love more. Too many times I was defiant and hurtful. I only wish that they could know how much I love them and care about them.

To whoever reads this final memoir of my life, just know and realize that you are loved. You may not know it, you may not see it or feel it, but you are loved. Whether it is by God or some other higher being, or by a family member or friend, you are loved more than you could ever know. And because you are loved, do not waste any time not loving others. If I have learned anything in my tiny glimpse of a life, it is that the most important and amazing thing we can do, is love one another. We may fight, we may yell, and we may hurt, but when we love, it makes everything worth while.

For anyone who has done wrong against me, I forgive you. I forgave you moments after you did wrong against me. This life is too short to hold grudges and hold hate in our hearts. I hope that anyone I have ever wronged against that may read this will find it in their hearts to one day forgive me. Just know that if I have hurt you, disappointed you, or done wrong against you, I am truly from the bottom of my heart sorry. And although I did something bad to you, know that I did love you, it wasn’t because I hate you or wanted to hurt you, but because I am human.