So, he left today. Watching him walk away and onto that bus was absolutely heartbreaking. The one person that I have waited for my whole entire life, got on a bus and left. Until you are in this position, you truly do not understand all the feelings that you go through.

As the farewell ceremony was taking place, I could feel my stomach actually twisting. I feel very hot and sick. When they read the Mobilization orders, tears of the spouses, children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, slowly began to fall from their eyes.

When it was over, and Michael walked towards me, I smiled and thought how handsome he was. Then fear took over and thought, what if? No, we don’t say it, but we all think it.

I remember, actually shaking my head to knock the thought out. I started to take the pictures of him saying good bye to the babies. My son who is 7, being a boy, shed a tear than gave him a hug. My daughter, now 6, just stood there. It was now starting to sink in what was happening. She clung onto him as if she would drown if she let go. She broke down and cried from the bottom of her little feet.

Finally, she calmed down and my mom hugged him, told him to be safe and I asked for her to take the kids out. My daughter wasn’t having it. She stayed as we sat and said our goodbyes. I rubbed his face with my hand, moving it over his head and back across his forehead. Trying to do my best to memorize this moment. I pulled him close as the tears started to run down my face. I kissed his forehead as he started to tear up. I told him I loved him, and was thankful that I had him. I told him not to big such a big hero, to not just do his job for the Army but as a husband and a father. I joked and said “Remember, DUCK!” He chuckled and I then began to bawl.

He put his arms around me and told me not to worry, he would call, write and email as much as he could. And he promised to return home safe and sound. I wondered, why do people make those kinds of promises.

We then walk to retrieve his gear and a bag lunch the unit had for all the guys. We kissed and hugged once more. He bent down to my daughter, put his arms around her waste and told her “Now you listen to your mama, and be good”. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. She then began to cry again, saying how much she loved him and you would miss him. They finished there goodbyes, and he kissed me once more with a hug that I was afraid to let go of. He whispered how much he loved me and knew how blessed he was to have me. He then got on the bus.