What kind of  dog owns you? Personally I am owned by two, the oldest and more sedate of the two is Bruno, a Stafford-shire bull terrier, and the second Sasha is a sharpie cross bull mastiff, don’t ask me how this union came about, the mind boggles, big dog, little dog, I suppose nature has it’s own ways. Well as I was saying, our dogs own us, not as we are led to believe, that we own them. For instance this morning I was trying to send some e-mails, and the dogs decided that they wanted to go for a walk, I tried ignoring them but they kept on pestering me, nudging me, and jumping up, this was causing problems, as I was trying to write and one or the other of the dogs would jump up and nudge my arm, and I would have to back track to correct the mistakes they were causing Finally I gave in to their demands and took them for a walk, fortunately there is a park near us, so if there are no other dogs about I can take them off their leads and let them have a run, this morning there was neither man nor owner of man in sight, so I let the dogs loose, now you would think it was up to me to decide when it was time to go home, wrong, Bruno the older of the two was quite tired and came back when I shouted, but Sasha decided she would like to stay a little longer, so a little longer we stayed. Once back home the dogs just flopped on their bed, great I thought I can get my mail sorted which I did, then I got some work done around the house, I do this these days, after being laid off the wife works and I do the household chores. Nearly done, all I have to do is mop the floors, Sasha wakes up and decides to play chase the mop, so the next half hour is spent mopping the floors while fending off the dog. Housework done and dogs settled for a while I sat down to check my mail, nothing interesting, so I to write this little story about my dogs.

Sorry I have to go now, as once again I’m being molested, it’s six in the evening and the dogs are demanding their dinner, did you know that dogs can tell the time? No, well you do now. Well that’s the dogs fed and content for now, what happens next? You may ask, I don’t know for sure but if things go to form, my wife and myself will sit down for our evening meal, and the dogs will wonder why they aren’t invited to join us, once the meal is over, then we will retire to the living room, with the dogs of course, it’s no good trying to leave them in the dining room, as Sasha has mastered the art of opening doors, unfortunately she hasn’t mastered the art of closing them yet, so it’s in the living room with the dogs, for a quiet life, or maybe not. The dogs curl up in front of the fire and we watch some TV we settle on the sofa, until the dogs get too warm and decide to join us, usually Bruno will go on one of the chairs on his own, but Sasha gets up with us, and won’t settle till she’s come between us, that’s my cue to move to the one remaining spare chair, which I do, closely followed by Sasha, she’s got me to herself now, but is she satisfied? No, she wriggles until she’s round the back of me, and I am left sat on the edge of the chair, now she’s happy, so you still think you own a dog, think again, I’m calling the dog whisperer in the morning.

For more humorous stories follow these links:

• www.socyberty.com/languages/letters.640589
• www.purpleslinky.com/humour/lost-and-found.621847
• www.purpleslinky.com/offbeat/socks-where-do-they-go.623899
• www.socyberty.com/folklore/knotted-things.653501