Our children are born and we hold them close. We worry about how to prepare them for the
real world. All the times we spend changing diapers, feeding, walking the floor when they are
ill, we worry that we are not doing something right.
I remember when each of my children were born. I remember the warm feeling when I held them.
It was the same for each one, the feeling. However, I learned each ones personality. There were six
people that I watched grow. There were six people I loved and worried about. As time went by,
they matured and had their own families. I sighed a sigh of relief but, only for a short time.

For six children and me being a partially single mom. I was very proud. Two nurses in the
family. One daughter was an LVN and the other an RN, (which came in very handy since I was diagnosed with
cardiomyopathy in 1995). But one day something happened, my RN called me crying, she was incoherent
I could not understand a thing. At the time she was in Florida and we decided it would be better for her
to come back to California.

I was not prepared! The once loving daughter I knew was now a crying screaming shrew. She
did not like anyone or anything, she hated her family and the bulk, was aimed at me. She would take off from work
and disappear for three or four days, leaving my nine year old granddaughter behind.
I noticed her movements, jerky, shaky, sleeping all the time. Them I found the syringes, the empty
vials of morphine (a strong pain medication) and phenergan ( an anti nausea medication). Soon there
was the picking at the face, the total letting go of her hygiene, the culprit there, speed.

What do you do when someone you love starts to abuse drugs, what do you say? I had no idea.
My other children, her siblings tried to talk to her, I tried to talk to her, we could not get past
the “Demon”
I have found, the abusers must first admit to the abuse. They must be willing to let
people help them, they must want the help. You cannot force them. Things became so stressful that I
did not, and still do not want her around. To those of you that say it sounds callas, I agree but, we have to
draw the line somewhere. Things were deteriorating, she had even gone so far as to call the police
on her brother, telling them he was holding me hostage. Sometimes for the good of the abuser and
others, you must, it is imperative that you use tough love.

It has been close to two years now, my RN is doing better although still angry with me, and
I will accept that anger as long as it makes her go on. I miss her and my grand daughter so very
much, there have been many tears shed and Kleenex used. Remember my words, the exorcist for this Demon
was Tough Love..