I had a good run for a couple of weeks but then my endorphins, remember them, start to wander off somewhere. They are like a bus full of special ed kids walking thru Times Square for the first time. They are mesmerized by the lights and I start losing them one by one. They were here a minute ago? I have never gotten that endorphin rush that everyone says I should get. I get an endorphin limp. Then an endorphin lie down and an endorphin take a nap.

Now I do try. It’s gotten so bad that last week the KQ signed me up for boot camp. Not the Maury Povich boot camp, who’s your Daddy, but an exercise boot camp.

Just a little history. When I met the KQ I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, eating sugar and processed foods. I think she thought I’d make a great client and she’d make a lot of money. Little did she know that I was broke.

So boot camp was on Saturday morning with a guy named Larry in the parking lot of a Jewish Temple at 8 in the morning. Well I got there 10 minutes late because of course I got lost going there. It is 5 minutes from home. Go figure. When I got there, there were 5 men standing in the parking lot. They were surrounded by truck tires, bell weights, sandbags and sledge hammers. There was also an obstacle coarse. What did KQ get me into?

Jeez it’s Wed. and my legs still feel like jello. I’d been lifting weights with my trainer Katie but this kicked my ass. I’m starting to feel that exercise is not the way to go for me. I think I’m more the intellectual type. OK……… I’ll wait for everyone to stop laughing.

No but I mean it. Why do people exercise if they hate it? I hate it. There’s not one aspect of working out that I like. So if it extends my life by a couple of years I figure that those years won’t really have been worth it because I would have hated those years I spent working out. So instead I think I’ll enjoy the less time I have on this planet and not worry about losing a year or two of hated time. I’ll have happy time with my endorphins, have another beer and finish that bowl of Wise potato chips. Hey guys pass me another cold one.