I am walking with my head in the clouds, oblivious to the real world around me, consumed only with what my mind sees as significant. I feel as though I am crawling out of my skin when the realities of my life don’t fit the perfect boxes in which I expect them to be. Anxiety devours me when my great expectations are not met. Frustration and anger build to breaking point until everyone in my path becomes a victim in one way or another. The smallest word or gesture can become a trigger, if it goes against my will or against what I am thinking or feeling. Paranoia is wrapped around me…things said can have many meanings and often I see myself as a target. I am the queen of the world! My self confidence outweighs anyone, I am capable and I am strong. I CAN DO ANYTHING….and no one can stop me in my path. I like to be in full control when my mania encompasses me and have you at my feet. I am an Enchantress, a man eater… I can overwhelm and seduce any man I set my sights on, but only a very few will I allow completely into my heart and soul. There he will remain forever, and my patience and understanding allow him to do no wrong, simply because of the extremes of love I feel for him. I am sensual and I am deep, but don’t mess with this vixen! Get her on your bad side and you will never forget. She will allow things to fester, until the time is right for her to pounce! Be the fortunate one to find your way into my heart and I will hold you on a pedestal. I have demons inside that emerge of their own free will…I can often see them…but I cannot control them…they do as they please….and make my life hell…..my mind it races and never stops, one thought after another flying in from different directions… no peace… overlapping… obsessive….subdued only by the music I listen to…it’s MY drug and the only soothing medication that wont destroy my physical self…well perhaps my ear drums…..I long to be loved and hate to be hated….complicated….challenging….this is a part of the MANIC me……