December 13, 2007, a day that will live in infamy – my private infamy that is.

That was the day I had a tooth extracted, my first as an adult, and I’m on my way to 54, also the year of my birth.

Okay, so it was only a wisdom tooth gone bad, without implications for its neighbors. It is unnecessary to mention that a dentist recommended that I remove all four of them as they grew in more than thirty years ago.

It was still a trauma. I first went for a consultation. An x-ray and quick inspection, and that was the diagnosis – take it out. For that I would have to see the specialist who comes once every two weeks or so, depending on the number of patients lined up. I would also need a panoramic x-ray at another clinic. Not a problem.

When I hear the word specialist, I think of someone with more education, with more expensive equipment, with more modern methods and …well with more. Not less.

The 13th arrived. I went to the specialist, curious to see what innovations he had. Would he use a laser to make things easier? Maybe a new compound that when applied from two separate bottles reduces the tooth to a powder? Maybe he would insert a piece of fine steel and coax the tooth out with a powerful electro-magnet.

First things first. A needle the length of a new pencil, full of soothing Novacaine. Fifteen minutes in the lobby and I was ready.

Not for what came next. It wasn’t a laser, or a compound, or anything of the sort. I think I can best describe it as a Leatherman cousin. He clamped it onto the tooth and tightened the screw. I wish I had been unconscious. We began a tug-o-war. The “specialist” with 19th century know-how and a Vice-grip against me and my wisdom tooth. As I hinted, I was wide awake. I didn’t feel pain, but I know that it hurt. I remember my head being wrenched back and forth, together with the tooth that wouldn’t let go. Finally it broke. The crown was off and he said it would be easier. He took the drill and separated the roots. In no time he was stitching up the wound and giving me instructions for the following hours and days.

I really was disappointed. Calling him a specialist, when all he does is what all dentists did once upon a time. That’s misleading at the very least.

Let this piece be a challenge to the dentists of the world. Enough of the pliers in the mouth! Find a more user-friendly way to extract teeth.