Do you remember the guy who first broke your heart? As the song goes, yes, I remember the boy but I don’t remember the feeling anymore. When we think of our first love, most of the time we associate this with our first heart break, unless of course you are one of the lucky few who ended up marrying their first love. I was 16 when I first had my heart broken. I thought I am going to die (okay, that’s exaggeration but you know what I mean.) Growing up, I was used to getting things my way most of the time, but when I had first my heart broken, there’s nothing people who care for me can do to ease the pain. It was excruciating and I was hoping that it would go away as soon as possible. But it did not… It took me quiet a while to finally say, I am now okay (without pretending).

Looking back, that experience was really a crazy one. I would just suddenly start crying for no apparent reason and then I would have a talk with my own self and I would be singing Christina Aguilera’s Fighter (hey, can’t blame me, it was a popular song that time). I wanted to get even, I wanted him to feel the pain, so I resorted to crazy things to hurt him. Those things I did, I won’t have the guts to share it here because even if it happened a long time ago, still, it was embarrassing. When my friends start reminding me of those things, I can’t believe the girl they are referring to is ME.

The first heart break taught me a lot of things. This might be useful to you. Stay as far away as you could from the person. Don’t start calling him and then hang up when you hear his voice. That’s pathetic and it’s so obvious it’s you. Another thing, just because you broke your heart does not mean you could get any new guy to fix it for you. Feel the pain, and heal on your own. The next time it happens, you’d know better.

I think I learned my lesson well.