The dictionary defines forgiveness as the act of ceasing to feel resentment against; to grant pardon, to renounce anger against.

Forgiveness and self-forgiveness is a mental and a spiritual process. Forgiveness means turning away from that which keeps us from forgiving.

Self-forgiveness means ceasing to feel resentment and anger against ourselves. We stop punishing ourselves when we feel that we have achieved this. There is no more need to “make up for it”. How do we turn away from that which we want to harbor? We deal with it by facing the person, and renouncing the resentment, and bitterness, and asking the person who has wronged us to forgive us.

Several years ago I felt compelled to write a letter to my aunt who had cancer. I know that Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. Having a positive attitude towards life can heal the emotions and the mind.

I asked her to forgive her father for a grave transgression that he had committed against her. The letter conveyed to her that living with resentment, bitterness and hatred, only served to ferment a deadly disease and made her life a living nightmare. Because she had held onto unforgiveness for forty years, the only thing that she had achieved was the ruination of her alcoholic life.

I begged her to forgive all those who she held responsible for taking away her child, and let her know that according to the Bible, which she believed in, that unless she didn’t forgive, neither would God forgive her trespasses.

Word got back to me that she had received my letter, and rejected it. She was furious that I would write and say the things that I did to her. Who did I think I was? Later a relative quoted her, word for word to me. After all who was I, just a niece?

Was I hurt? Yes, because she was family, and I wanted her to understand and ask forgiveness before it was too late. Anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness contribute to a stressful and acidic environment. These can lead to an early death.

A couple of months went by, when I heard that she had accepted the Lord into her life, she had quit smoking, and turned her life around. She wouldn’t allow anyone in her house to smoke either. She prayed and read the Bible everyday. Even though she passed on, her body was riddled with cancer, but more importantly I believe her soul was saved.

I was so happy she accepted the Lord into her life before she died. The initial hurt and rejection made it all worthwhile. Did I have to forgive myself for her anger? Yes, when I heard that she gave her heart to God, I was then able to let go of the rejection and hurt myself.

I know that she was received into the hands of God upon receiving the act of forgiveness into her heart

Cover of Cancer

, not only forgiving her father but herself.